Last month, I was given the word “speak” during a feedback session, in addition to several “step into your ‘leader’ role and speak out more” requests.
But the problem was, going into that team I felt the Lord telling me something different.
More of a “take a supportive stance and allow them to step into the uncomfortable places” thing.
Every time I asked Him how to teach them something, I would feel like He just wanted me to create the space for them to learn, and He would do the teaching.
I’m pretty sure he said, to be exact, “I’m wrecking your plans.”
So after getting this feedback I had to pray, a lot, to make sure I was on the right track.
[Spoiler alert: I was.]
Our society puts us in boxes and tells us what to do so often, God wanted me to NOT do that, but to rather create the space for them to step out and be bold in their own choices.
It was a tricky balance between wanting to make it comfortable and easy for them out here on the other side of the world, but also wanting to push them to take ownership and step into leading a part of the team in their own way.
[This month, two of them have stepped into Team Leader roles, so I guess something went right!]
We got new teams this month, and God has not let me forget the word “speak.”
He told me at debrief that it is time to start doing that.
This team would need me to be more vocal in leading and guiding them.
To say they’re a little louder than my last team would be an understatement.
But there is so much LIFE and JOY and FUN and PASSIONATE PURSUIT in that.
This time, God gave me a picture of a path.
With my first team, he had told me to erase the path and let the team blaze their own trail, discovering and exploring the unfamiliar together.
This team, he said needed me to do it a little different.
I would still walk behind, supporting them in their collective vision and empowering them to step up and bring us forward toward it.
However, there would be times with this team that they would individually start to wander off the path, and in those moments I would need to speak up and remind us where we’re going.
AND IT WAS SCARY.
The first couple times I spoke up were hard.
It’s not natural for me to make my voice heard in a group that tends to speak their opinions confidently and often.
It’s more natural for me to listen and observe until I know for certain that what I say is “good”.
But that wasn’t my job this time around.
I was asked to “speak” before it was pretty and packaged and perfect.
And you know what?
It was GREAT.
I have felt such a sweet respect come from every woman on this team, and so much affirmation and encouragement as they allow me to try and fail and try again.
There has been such a commitment to choose in to everything the Lord has for this team, and it’s so evident to me that His hand is in every interaction we have.
So, lesson learned.
Listen to God.
Do what he says.
It works every time.
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