For me, the World Race is about a desire for growth.
Growth in my walk with God.
Growth in my ability to work well with others.
Growth in my ability to serve others generously.
Growth in my character.
Growth and change don’t come easily.
Often, they come with great difficulty, discomfort, and bravery.
This week, that desire for growth was challenged.
I’m a runner.
[Not really in the athletic sense of the word.]
But when given a “Fight or Flight” situation, I always pick flight.
It’s easier than having to confront my insecurities head on.
It’s easier than being rejected.
It’s easier than being judged.
It’s easier than being disliked.
So I run.
I’ve been in World Race mandated therapy for a year
[put all your stigmas and judgment aside for a minute]
learning how to find a balance between keeping myself safe, and being brave enough to not run.
Believe it or not, it’s really helped me to discern when it’s okay to share my feels, my hurts, and stand up for what I think is right.
It’s taught me to have greater integrity.
But that doesn’t make it any easier when the time comes to speak up.
The World Race holds a really radical view of community.
One of the practices within teams that has been made a norm is something we call “feedback.”
Feedback can be positive, encouraging a team member in something they’re excelling in, or it can be more challenging, encouraging a team member to grow in a certain area.
It’s terrifying and wonderful all at the same time.
This week I was deeply hurt by a team member I respected and admired when she admitted she had pre-judged me.
It had nothing to do with my character, habits, or personality, but she had distanced herself from me from the start because I looked like someone who had hurt her in the past.
Which makes sense.
I would probably do the same if I were in her shoes.
I was grateful she had told me her reservations, but also afraid to tell her how hurt I was.
I have a fear of failure.
I have a fear of making things worse.
I have a fear of confrontation.
And I was faced with a choice.
A choice to have courage.
To be honest.
To be vulnerable.
To grow, and help my teammates grow.
So I didn’t run.
I felt God’s gentle encouragement to talk to her.
[I also heard my therapist asking me, “Well, what would happen if you told her?”]
But I wasn’t sure I was brave enough.
That night, we listened to a talk by Brene Brown on trust as a part of our nightly Team Time.
We talked about traits in trustworthy people.
We opened up about our struggles and our strengths.
We further affirmed our mutual desires to improve our character and love each other well.
And we talked about feedback.
And I spoke up.
I talked about my hurts.
I talked about my uncertainties.
I talked about my desire to run away from the situation and abandon the relationship.
And you know what happened?
I survived!
It was as if a huge weight was lifted from my body.
Like I had suddenly been let out of my self-inflicted strait jacket.
[Cliché? Maybe, but don’t knock it ‘til you try it!]
Our team has done an incredible job of creating a safe place for communication.
Now, because we were brave, we can be intentional about our relationship.
We can seek help without feeling judged.
We can be friends on purpose.
We can trust.
I LOVE that I get to be brave here.
I love that I can choose courage over comfort.
I love that we are a team that is FOR each other.
The only running I’ll be doing this year will be the kind that makes me stronger.
[and that requires lots of deodorant]
Want more detailed updates, pictures, and stories?
Become a partner and help me to continue my journey this year!
One way you can do this is by Adopting a Block.
Pick an open numbered square.
Tell me the number so I can color it in.
Click the “Support Me” link at the top, fill in the info, and donate the dollar amount that matches the number in your square.
Then hang out by your mailbox and email inbox and wait to hear from me about everything you’re making possible!
A HUGE thank you to everyone who has already joined me on this Race.
I love love love that you’re helping me help others!
