It’s been a hot minute since I blogged.
I’m currently sitting on my back porch enjoying a glass of wine as it rains, life is good ya’ll.
I’ve been hard pressed to write about this for a while, I think it’s just taken me quite a bit of time to fully articulate the right words to say.
Last night I was driving home and sent my bestie a quick voice message (don’t worry mom no texting and driving took place) as I was externally processing some things that I feel the Lord has been stirring up. It was lengthy, but it was something along the lines of “I don’t know what it looks like to change how we love people, but we’ve got to get away from this whole self-righteous, I’m-loving-you-out-of-pity-and-obligation-and-I’m-better-than-you type of perspective, because that’s what Christians are suppose to do.”
That’s not what Christians are called to do.
Allow me to preface before I continue-this is not a blog meant to bash Christians, or bash the way you personally seek to love and serve people, it’s simply a call to live from a place of true, unadulterated love and fullness in God, instead of obligation and self-righteousness.
What I really hope to do, is simply challenge your heart-what are your true intentions in the relationships you will build with others?
Are you truly seeking to pursue and love someone out of an overflow of love and grace inside of yourself, or are you seeking some sort of self-approval by displaying how “good” you have it and how much of a mess someone else is?
Are you building a relationship with someone because you think it’s a duty of yours to “convert”, “change” or “save” them; or do you genuinely want to know someone deeply and intimately, the way Christ desires to know us as His precious, worthy kids?
Are striving to love others out of obligation, or are you loving people because you are so filled with the Holy Spirit that you can’t help but reflect that in your thoughts, motives, and words?
I’m challenging you to check your own heart. Are you walking intimately with Jesus? Are you living from a place of love? Are you connected to your source? Are you loving without any strings attached? Are you truly living LOVED-knowing and living in such a way that you know you are loved and cherished by God?
If I’m being honest, I’m deeply saddened when I hear other Christians speaking about family, friends, roommates, co-workers, etc-as if they are projects or lost puppies. People are not projects, and they don’t need your self-righteous (“wow this person is so lost right now”) pity (yep, I said it). People need understanding, love, and trust. They need a safe place to simply be-to be known and received without an ounce of judgement.
My heart aches when I hear comments like “my roommate is so difficult, I’ve tried to be a light in his/her world, but I just can’t do it anymore. I give up.” While I believe these types of comments are entirely harmless by nature and do not come from a place of negativity, I do believe they come from a place of frustration, spiritual exhaustion and thirst. Frustration and spiritual exhaustion perpetuate self-righteousness, savior mentalities and conditional love in our relationships. The heart behind these types of comments speaks volumes about our own relationship with the Lord. We are not saviors, and we were never intended to fix people. We ourselves (I’m speaking from a Christian perspective) don’t have it all together-hell I’m so broken ya’ll, if you only knew, and I’m literally walking through new challenges and seasons with the Lord (what seems like) every week.
I need the Lord’s presence in my life-I need it every single day. Some days my well dries up so much that I become incredibly spiritually exhausted and thirsty that I have nothing to give, and I’ve got to get back to my roots-to the quiet places with the Lord-to rest in being insanely loved, completely known, and completely understood by the God of the universe. I’ve got to get filled up, so I’ve got authentic love to give. You can’t give what you don’t have. If I’m striving to love out of a place of guilt, obligation, and spiritual thirst, I’m not doing anyone any favors, and I’m unintentionally sending this message: “I don’t view you as worthy enough to have all of my heart right now, I’m exhausted, so here are my left-overs.”
Every day, I need the pure, unwavering, love of God to flood my heart, so that I’m able to reflect even an ounce of that in my day to day. On my own, I couldn’t do it, and I wouldn’t want to.
I am in no way invalidating or shaming those struggle with loving people-it’s not always easy. Sometimes it’s hard as hell, and requires immense grace and humility-something that’s impossible without the unconditional love of God. Again, I’m simply challenging your heart, and asking you to reflect on your own relationship with the Lord, are you living from a place of love or obligation?
Here’s a quick example:
If you’re asking someone out to coffee because you pity them, or you think you should “try and have a God talk with them”, that’s a sure fire sign your heart is not in the right place, and you’re certainly not operating out of a place of abundant love, grace, and intentionality.
Now, am I saying to hesitate to talk about your faith, or hold back when the Spirit of God is moving? Absolutely and unequivocally, no. By all means, walk boldly and fiercely in the Spirit! Live with a Kingdom perspective and don’t hesitate to speak when you’re moved. With that being said, I believe there’s an obvious difference in speaking when moved by the Spirit of God, and loving someone with a hidden agenda of personal gain or self-righteousness.
Self-righteousness, hidden agendas, and approval-seeking are not of God, they are of the flesh.
There is not condemnation, only grace upon grace.
If God is love, grace, and peace-and we do not know Him intimately, how can we possibly reflect that in our relationships? The reality is this: we cannot love people well unless we, ourselves, are walking intimately with the Lord.
If you truly want to reflect who Jesus is, get to know Him; and allow yourself to be loved. You are worthy of the love of God, believe it and live it. I’m not advocating for us to be flawless and perfect in the ways we love people, I’m advocating for intimacy with the Lord-a result of that is a reflection of the heart of God in the way you live and the way you view others.
Be worthy. Be loved. Be exposed. Walk with the Lord intimately and experience the fullness of love and grace. Get filled up, and be an overflow of love.
No shame. No condemnation. Be loved-understand it, receive, and pour it out!
The fruit of an intimate relationship with God is always an overflow of authentic love, unexplainable grace, and a true desire to know people to the core-free of hidden agendas. It is fullness, freedom, and joy.
