I have six weeks left on the World Race.
That’s a weird sentence to type out. It seems like only yesterday I was boarding a plane to fly to Atlanta so I could attend training camp. And now, eleven months later, I am almost ready to head home.
From the moment I signed up for the Race to, well, now, my life has been filled with uncertainty and questions.
How will I raise all of the money?
What will this country be like?
Will we have a fun placement next month?
Who will be on my next team?
Will I be given a leadership position?
Will this food make me sick?
Will my parents enjoy PVT in Thailand?
Will it get harder to stay present on the Race?
All of these questions have gone through my head at one point on this journey as I impatiently waited for answers. And I received them, though not in my timing but in God’s.
God has been so incredibly faithful to me. This past year, yes, but throughout the rest of my life as well. And He will continue to be faithful because He cannot be anything else.
I try to keep this in mind when the next big question pops up, as it seems to do so often. The question I’ve been running from for many years now.
What’s next?
I run from this simple question because I don’t like the answer.
Or rather, I run because I don’t know the answer. And I don’t like not knowing.
But I’m getting tired of running. I’m getting tired of pretending I have all the answers when I really have very few answers.
So what’s next?
I don’t know. There, I said it. But I’m okay with not knowing now. Or at least, more okay. God has been faithful to direct me where I need to go when I need to go in my life and I believe He will continue to do so.
So I will continue to follow His direction and trust it to lead me to better places than I have been.
God knows the passions I have and the desires of my heart because He gave them to me. I don’t believe those are to be wasted. God knows I want to pursue music and, looking back, I can see all the things He has done for me to put me in a position to do so. I just don’t know how right now.
I’ll be home in six weeks but I’m not making any plans for what to do when I get home. I’m letting God make those.
His are better than mine anyway.
