Saying goodbye is never easy, and leaving Cambodia yesterday was no exception. The people and children we had the pleasure of doing life with this past month will keep a piece of my heart. With that being said, Cambodia was a difficult month. My ministry was teaching all subjects to 2 pre-k Cambodian children from 7:30am to 3:30pm followed by running a camp for Korean missionary kids from 4:30pm to 6pm. The days were long and, some days, the routine became job-like. The Lord was working on my heart and taught me so much this month. One of the biggest lessons I learned was through my sweet 4 year old friend Reaksmey. This little girl was so meticulous with her school work and oftentimes took a half hour to complete a simple worksheet- one of which required her to trace the number 12. This drove me crazy. Absolutely nuts. Through those hours of coaxing Reaksmey to complete her school work, God was teaching me about patience. Here is a journal entry that captures this lesson.
Kdey srolanh ker ort thun (love is patient, in Khmer)
What a beautiful and difficult time in life. Each day I am blown away by the incredible journey I’m walking in at this very moment. Never had I even considered the very possibility of becoming a missionary and now here I am, month 3 almost passed by. I am so thankful that the Lord had planned this before the World Race was on my radar- what a beautiful thing! As beautiful as this journey is, it’s also very painful. Some days I simply don’t want to do it. Some days, I don’t want the Lord to stretch me; I’d rather be comfortable in my mess than uncomfortable in His truths. But the Lord is always full of such grace. I’ve been learning a lot this month about what it looks like to walk in patience. It’s such a wonderful learn to learn from a four year old Cambodian girl. Wonderfully humbling. Patience is dying to myself daily when Reaksmey takes twenty minutes to trace the letter m on a worksheet and all I want to do is rip the pencil right out of her tiny little hand. Something that I’ve been learning is that it is necessary to walk in patience- it’s not just a way to honor someone but to show them love. There’s a reason why it’s listed first in the 1 Corinthians 13 passage. From patience stems most of the other descriptions of love. God has been breaking me down in the most beautiful ways that put me in situations allowing me to walk in patience.
Lord, I thank you for surrounding me with people who make me feel uncomfortable and impatient, because there are so many lessons to be learned through it. Help me to have eyes to see the situations that will allow me to more fully walk in patience. Remind me of your grace for myself for the times that I choose my flesh over patience, because God I know that it will happen. I thank you that you are the ultimate example of love and, in turn, patience. I pray that I would have the courage to walk in patience, the heart to accept feedback when I’m not, and the resiliency to keep pursuing you when life gets hard. God you are doing beautiful and wonderful things here in Cambodia and I am so thankful to be a part of it, but I’m also thankful that you’re changing me too. Thank you for your constant patience with me. I love you.
