I’m down to 6 hair bands. I brought about 45, because I constantly lose them. That was a good move. I packed 4 pairs of earbuds, anticipating that I’d lose those easily as well. I still have all 4 in my possession, but only one pair still works. Murphy’s law, I guess. Its now funny to me how much I stressed what clothes to bring on this trip. I’ve dropped a lot along the way and picked other things up. It all generally smells like dirt and sweat and peppermint oil, and I’m pretty confident that most of it is past the point of no return.
The thing I spent hours fundraising for and thinking about and preparing for is almost over. I’ve run the Race, and the “finish line” is in sight. I’ve lived this lifestyle for 9 months. Today I am with my entire squad at Final Debrief in Léon, and I am trying to find words to describe the last nine months of my life.
Jesus asked me to take a leap of faith. Like Peter, I was being called out to walk on water with Jesus. When my eyes were focused on Him, I walked and learned and grew. When I focused on the wind and the waves, I sank.
If I am being honest, I did not do everything perfectly. I sank more than once. I made plenty of mistakes these past nine months. Please do not put me on some kind of “spiritual pedestal.”
But man, when I kept my eyes on Jesus… what a beautiful thing. Even when I focused too much on the waves and sank some months… those are the times The Lord taught me the most.
In my past year of living, I have seen and experienced and learned more than I could have imagined. I have become a better version of myself that reflects more of Christ. I have seen more of the character of God, experienced Him in new ways, and entered into a much deeper relationship with Him. I have read the entire Bible, cover to cover. I have become an English teacher, a preacher, a volunteer, a teammate, a sister, a worship leader, a program director, a team treasurer, a construction worker, a traveler, a team leader, and more. I have lived with quite the array of personality types, and I’ve learned how to to better love each one. I have learned about boldness, understanding, wisdom, love, simplicity, praise, reliance on the Spirit, time management, patience, and true joy. I have caught glimpses into just how deep and wide God’s love for humanity is. I have seen the importance of living fully for The Kingdom. I have been pushed out of comfort zones on all fronts. I have realized that it’s really not about me- it’s about Jesus.
That’s not even half of it, but I can’t formulate sufficient words to articulate all the ways I’ve grown or the things I’ve seen over the past 9 months. As I come home, I am asking for grace. The question “so, how was your trip?” is not easily answered. I don’t know what the transition back into American culture will be like for me.
What I do know is this: in some way or shape or form, I am not exactly the same Claudia that left home 9 months ago. I still love sarcasm and nature and Jesus and people, but what I’ve seen and experienced has changed me. I’m not your typical 18 year old girl.
I’ll be flying into Atlanta in 4 days. I can’t wrap my brain around it. Home is coming, and I’m coming home. Some words I’d use to describe my current state are as follows: excited, sad, nervous, nostalgic, bug-bitten, happy, tanned, reflective, smelly, unsure if I’m ready, scared, pumped, and bruised. Do with that what you will. Not sure of what to do with it myself.
It may be finish line of the “Race,” but it is more importantly the starting line to the rest of my life. I am confident that greater things have yet to come.
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If you are in the area and are interested in hearing about my experiences on The World Race, I will be speaking during the regular sermon time June 5th at Christ The Lord Lutheran Church at all four services: 8am, 9am, 10am, and 11am. I’d love to see you there! Otherwise, shoot me an email at [email protected], and let’s figure out a time to get together :-)uu
