This year I have learned what church truly is… And it’s not what you would think.. It’s not sitting in pews in fancy clothes, it’s not four walls and nice stained glass, and it’s not the hymns or prayers and tradition of it all. It’s not a building. It’s not trying to act like you have it all together. Church is about people and their Creator.
Most of my life I have seen the exposed, raw, ugly and flawed body of people that make up the church. I have seen more jealousy, deceit, and lies in the church than the love and grace and growth that it was intended to have. For many years the body of Christ that is supposed to be the church has not shown the love or grace of Christ to me or my family. I have had to remind myself that the church is made up of people that are flawed. I know why people leave the church and never come back. I know what it is like to feel unwelcome in the church.
When I was at the end of my sophomore year in college I gave up on church. When I did go to church it was with my family… we would walk into church and go to our seats and no one would speak to us, when it was over and we got up to leave no one would speak to or acknowledge us. People in the church started rumors in town about my family because they didn’t like my dad and they didn’t like the way he spoke truth and accountability.
When I was at school I didn’t go to church and I told myself that I still had a relationship with the Lord, but my actions showed otherwise. I partied and drank a lot in those 2 years. Looking back now I know I was lying to myself about my relationship with the Lord. For a long time I was angry…I was so mad at the people in that church that hated my family for selfish reasons. Then I became bitter and just sad. I felt angry, bitter, and sad for about 2 years.
It took me another year beyond that to step back into a church with a heart just starting to open up.
The community of having a church didn’t bring me back to the church… God invited me back and I hesitantly accepted that invitation.
Before the Race I had lost hope in walking into a church again and not feeling skeptical and questioning everyone’s motives. I had lost hope in finding a group of people that authentically love the Lord and will follow him anywhere no matter how crazy the request.
This year the Lord showed me what the church is supposed to be and I don’t want to go back to the old. So after this year I quit what people think church should look like.
I quit church.
Because this is what church really is…
preaching in the dark while standing in the mud in Uganda,
dancing together in a church in Rwanda as the Spirit moves around you,
being asked to dance in front of an entire congregation in Kenya and then being prayed over,
walking up and down the streets in India praying for the hearts of the people all around you,
singing worship songs with children around a camp fire in Nepal,
sitting in a house in Cambodia as people sing and pray in Khmer, Portuguese, and English; three languages, but one powerful God,
singing hymns of thanksgiving and praise for a 4 year old at her birthday party then sharing a meal together in Thailand,
allowing your host to use their gift of prophecy in Malaysia as your teammates take turns being prayed over,
buying food and going to the park in the center of town in Guatemala to feed the kids and teenagers that are shining shoes then praying over them,
holding a sleeping 4 year old during church in Honduras and praying for her heart and her life that she may grow up to love Jesus the way you do,
in Nicaragua teaching 9-14 year old boys about character and how much they have value so that they will grow into men that love the Lord and lead by example.
The church is forming a family with 40 other people close to my age that genuinely love the Lord and are willing to follow him to the ends of the earth.
“And all the believers met together in one place and shared everything they had. They sold their property and possessions and shared the money with those in need. They worshiped together at the Temple each day, met in homes for the Lord’s Supper, and shared their meals with great joy and generosity— all the while praising God and enjoying the goodwill of all the people.” -Acts 2:44-46
The church is not about focusing on where you have messed up, it’s about forgiveness and growing and challenging each other as people grow closer to each other and our Father who created us.
The church is the hands and feet of Jesus at work.
For years I have said the church sucks, but the church doesn’t suck… the people do.
“Healthy people don’t need a doctor— sick people do. For I have come to call not those who think they are righteous, but those who know they are sinners.” Matthew 9:12-13
My church this year was made up of people from 12 different countries… people that are white, black, Asian, Indian, African, Central American… very few things about us are the same, but we were all created by the same God and we all give everything we have back to the One that made us.
We’re doing the thing!
Much love, Carson
