I think we all “wait” in one way or another, whether we wait patiently or not is completely up to us. It’s June, so naturally, all the photographs of weddings and engagements are coming out. It’s easy for me to see a lot of these photos for a fleeting moment and wonder “but when will it be my turn?” My heart aches thinking about it, even if it’s just for a split second.
The reality is that sometimes it’s just hard to wait. I have been waiting a long time and I have friends who have been waiting even longer than I have and it aches their hearts just as hard as it aches mine. For me, the immediate questions and lies that flood my mind are “why haven’t I gotten a boyfriend yet? Is there something wrong with me? Am I not enough? Do I have too high of a standard? Should I lower my standards?”
The answers to all of those questions 11 months ago would have been a lot different than they are now, because the current answers to these questions are simple and easy; they flow with a greater knowing: I don’t know why I haven’t gotten a boyfriend yet. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with me because I am a Daughter and Co-Heir with Christ. I am always enough because God knows me deeply and intimately. My standards are high, yes, but I should not and will not lower them because I am worth more than gold and until the right man also recognizes me for all that I am and all I have to offer — it’s worth all the waiting in the world.
A year ago, I would have laughed in someone’s face if they told me this because the thought of even being considered a “woman,” nonetheless “Woman of God,” didn’t seem right to me back then. I didn’t fit in that mold. The words were too precious to even have my name come before or after. Honestly, the words made me squirm in my chair. A year ago, I still wanted so badly to be noticed, cared about, loved by everyone, and desired affirmation by seeking roles I believed would make me feel important and seen. However, I barely put in the effort to be seen and noticed and I dimmed my shine. Now I know that being considered a Woman of God is the most honorable thing and that being treated and viewed as so by anyone I come in contact with is just as important.
Before, now, and always, I am beautiful on the inside and out. I can earnestly look in a mirror with my hair all out of place, sweat on my face, smelly as all else after a day of whathaveyou, glasses falling down my nose, and still believe I am worth something like gold. I am worth looking at and finding because I am enough and I am worthy treasure in the Lord’s eyes.
Men search for hours on end panning for gold because they know its beautiful and worth something. Gold is hidden beneath all the dirt and grime of mud inside a river. Gold never dims its shine, it simply waits to be found in some of the hardest places to search on earth. I think it’s the same with women and men today.
This doesn’t mean that I sit around and do nothing in the process of waiting for someone to come and find me, though. It’s an active wait. I will continue to keep following the Lord’s will over my life and I will continue taking steps forward with Him along the lines of my passions. The right people will always walk alongside me or find a way to do it, and that includes my future best friend and life-partner. I have no clue who the Lord has in store for me, but I know that whoever it is is being molded and fashioned into the man of God that Jesus has perfectly handcrafted for me — the type of guy who will recognize my worth and see me as beautiful and precious as gold just like the Lord does.
I write this and share it because it’s truth for me, but it’s also truth for all the waiters out there, and it’s truth for all the people who may have significant others, too. I have been waiting until the moment I could honestly write these words down to share them. I wanted to really believe them in my own heart and make sure that I am truly living them out in my daily life before sharing them. These words don’t come from the affirmation of others and they sure-as-night-becomes-day don’t come from any man giving me attention. They come from our loving and graceful God, they come from the truth-teller I love more than anything in this world, and they overflow out of the being in my heart because I now know and believe that these words are true.
