It’s like looking up at the sky and seeing a cloud that looks fluffy against the blue sky, so beautiful, wondering how you got there. It’s like looking up at the stars on a beautiful summer night and thinking about how small you are compared to the rest of this universe that God created all by Himself, yet you know you are seen, alive, and known in this life. It’s exactly like being known by another just as wholly as you desire to be known.
Epic and Immeasurable.
This past year has been pretty epic, and if I had to choose a word for 2015, I’d choose that word, because everything that happened during the time frame of January 1st and December 31st 2015 was nothing short of it. 2015 was a year filled with numerous ups and downs, but the ups and the ways that God has revealed His grace and love to me have far outweighed every doubt and fear – and now that I stand, having jumped into an entirely new year (literally – we jumped off seats in a restaurant at midnight yelling and screaming in joy) and having gone through 2015 with God in every way you could imagine, I know I have nothing to fear or doubt because HE’S got it figured out, and HE’S going to do immeasurably more than I could ever think, wish, or imagine in my life this year ahead (and the years after that, too).
Sure, there are uncertainties, there are always uncertainties… Don’t get me started on how many times I was uncertain of being where I am now before leaving on the Race (oh, the internal battles I went through!), but over and over again, through the difficulties and the trials, God proved Himself more faithful with each passing day this past year. Moving forward into 2016, I have a still and certain feeling that He’s going to blow me out of the water even more with things I don’t expect to happen and things that throw me into left field like a baseball – things that make me look the only way I should know how: Up.
Because He’s immeasurable, and I am His. There is power in that, there is strength in that, and there are dreams seeded deep inside my heart that can only come from Him because I am His… If He made this dream come true, what other dreams do I have that He can make come true with the little Mustard Seed Faith I have? I learned in 2015 that if I am willing to say “yes” no matter the circumstances I’ve been given, and if I break free from the corner I’ve put myself inside for years, then God shows up in huge ways.
Who would want to go back into an internal corner (that honestly feels like jail) once they’ve broken out and experienced the freedom being out has to offer? Um, not me, that’s for sure.
So, I’m still sitting in utter awe at our immeasurable God who provided more than enough for me to stay, and I will probably have to pinch myself over and over again just to remind myself that this is actually real, because it still feels like a dream (that I love being in, so don’t wake me up). I will constantly praise the immeasurable God who doesn’t give up on me even when I want to give up on myself. This year, I want to be on the lookout and open to all the immeasurable things He’s got in store for me. I want to keep exercising the faith I have in Him to provide for me in ways unimaginable. I want to be fully present, hopeful, and aware of everything around me, including Him.
2016 is going to be marked by immeasurable things, and it’s going to be because He is the one that I place my hope and faith in before anything else. We are headed to Nepal and our second debrief as a Squad this weekend, which inevitably means lots of change (which, if I’m being honest, makes me a tad anxious). Please be in prayer for all of us as we begin to process all that the Lord has done in these past four months and please be in prayer as we prepare ourselves for all the changes coming in the next week or so.
All my Love,
~Ashley
