What I lived in at home in New Hampshire was a castle compared to what I saw yesterday. If you can imagine a small cement cubicle with two thin beds with worn down blankets, piles of things on two walls, no windows, an orange sheet as a door, red dirt streets, and children running everywhere with no adult supervision, then you will get a small glimpse into the community I was able to step into for about an hour yesterday.
I met Vanessa, a nine year old with cerebral palsy. She is one sibling in a family of many. I met her fifteen year old sister and younger brothers, as well as some women from the community who our host, Sarah, knows. I stepped inside their home and met with them in their situation. The minute I asked to hold Vanessa, the vessels inside my heart broke.
Vanessa is very malnourished. Due to lack of income, their family is left to fend on their own for food and sometimes there is none left for her. Vanessa is looked down upon in her community because disabled children are seen as cursed – for something that they are unable to control. Due to lack of motor skills, her body contorts in certain positions and needs to stretch over and over to even have the ability to move without stiffness in her muscles. Because her brothers and sisters have to go to school, she is sometimes left on her own in the middle of those cement walls and has no one to love her and care for her basic necessities. Their mother and father are currently out of the picture.
I can’t imagine what it must feel like to these kids living in this type of situation. To believe in hope that their mom is coming back, but day after day there is no return. To have a dad that left them at the drop of a hat once Vanessa started showing signs of her condition. To not be fed because income is scarce, to be living day by day, hour by hour even, with little to no love… With only the understanding of what it feels like to be left behind.
I stretched Vanessa in my arms and held her head straight. She sat in my lap and as I looked down at her, I said “Hi” and told her she was beautiful; smiled, and simply held her in love. In my heart, I realized that she is probably never told this on a normal basis, that she is never stretched like this at home, and is probably barely touched because of the way she is.
Vanessa simply smiled and looked at me with her beautiful brown eyes. While the vessels in my heart were breaking and pounding, I could only hold her and hope that she understood. She couldn’t communicate with me, but the times in which she grunted and smiled, I could tell that she was trying to express her gratitude.
Truth is that there are just some things you can’t un-see, and I’ve been told it gets worse as the Race goes on.
The truth is that this life is normal to people who live in Uganda on a daily basis. The truth is that there is a child who is unable to get her basic necessities while I am able to sit and type on this computer to tell her story and live for a month inside of what feels like a mansion after seeing where and how Vanessa lives with her brothers and sisters. The truth is that while I love this girl after spending an hour with her, there is a God who knows her and loves her exponentially more. An even greater truth is that God used me as a vessel to show her His love for her in one hour, while He is using our host Sarah Masembe at The Suubi house Ministry to do just the same every single day Vanessa comes to the house to get food, love, and basic necessities.
I caught a glimpse into the heart behind the ministry we are taking part in this month at the Suubi House and my heart and mind are growing exponentially after just four full days in Uganda. Please pray for Vanessa’s family and for the Suubi House. This is a Ministry that is doing a lot of good for people who are seen as unworthy and unloved in the nation of Uganda. Pray for the kids we work with, and for team unity as we continue in our journey together this month and in the months following.
His,
Ashley
PS. Thank you so much for all the support and love thus far! I am a little over $4,200 away from being fully funded for the race and just under $1,000 from my next deadline coming up next month. Please consider helping me out to keep learning and spreading God’s love on this Race He has put before me. I will be thankful for every penny and it will not go by unnoticed. All my Love!
