If someone were to say “Tell me what you love…” I could go on for hours about foods ranging from Chinese to Pizza, Chicken, Burgers and Hot Dogs. I could tell you about God. I could tell you about beautiful moments, warm summer nights, looking up at the stars, asking friends silly, but important questions… I could tell you about the friends and people in my life. I could tell you about ENC and Community and Thursday Night Bible Studies. I can tell you about Honduras and traveling in bus’s and cars and planes.
But I want to genuinely love who I am, too. I have to think that God would want that for me, too, as He is the one who genuinely and wholly loves us all completely as we are.
A couple years ago, I was in a tough place emotionally because of various circumstances that were happening around me. However, I also look back on a couple years ago and see it as a time when I genuinely began to love myself for who I was and what I was beginning to be about in life.
Back in 2013, I made this small and silly goal to train and run a 5k, to workout more. I made a goal to say “yes” to what was in front of me, which lead to one of the toughest summers of my life, but it also lead to trying out for a play and becoming more involved at school. It lead to Honduras. It lead to becoming more invested in where I was, and that involved risk. In doing these things, I found a love for myself, people, life, art, missions, running, and God that I never knew I had beforehand. All because of some simple goals and because I decided to be done with negativity that I let plague me for way too long leading up to that new year.
It’s now two years later and I find myself needing to make small goals again. I find myself needing to celebrate the things I do like about myself as a person, too. I really take pride, physically, in my legs. But, I do miss the way they looked when I was running constantly on the Cross Country Team this past fall. My Physical Goal is to begin running again once I get to PA and to continue running as I am out in other countries. (Plus, I need to conquer a 2 mile walk with my large pack at Training Camp, so what better way to practice than running and getting fit?!)
Spiritually, I would like to spend more time with God and serving other people both leading up to the Race, but also on the entire Race, because that’s what I believe it’s all about. I want to be about the people God places right in front of me, no matter who that might be or where that might be at this specific time. I also want to develop a more “One Day at a Time” mentality as I prepare for what is next. Because that’s all we have, this day, this moment, etc…
Socially, I just want to be more comfortable in who I am around other people. I’ve always considered myself to be really quiet and somewhat awkward. But once I figure out that almost everyone is worrying about themselves and how they’re acting, too, I’m the silliest girl that laughs and is really loud, and just doesn’t care as much, because once anyone lets down that first wall, others are able to do the same. I want to be open at Training Camp and on the Race and not worry so much!
It helps me to write things out and share with others because once I share things in public, I’m helping myself to be held accountable for the things I say I’m going to do and follow through on. Being held accountable with the things I need to work on is really really important and helpful for me. I’m sure daily goals will come up as days come and go, but if I were to consolidate the things I’m hoping to do or grow in before I even launch on the Race, these things would definitely be it.
Please be praying over these things with me, continued prayers over Z Squad, and preparation as we all get ready to head on down to Gainesville, Georgia in a month.
All my Love!
Ashley
