What does it mean to be a Ruin? According to Dictionary.om, Ruins are the remains of a building and city. Something that has been destroyed or in disrepair, in a state of decay or undoing. In verb form, to ruin means to fall to pieces.
Yes, fall to pieces. It’s an action.
I never thought of falling to pieces or being a ruin as if it were an action before.
Most of the time, I don’t think things are intentional when it comes to ruining or breaking anything. It kind of just happens over time by accident. Things become left unsaid, hurts become too big without communication to air grievances, forgiveness is not extended; whatever it might be, I believe that human ruin is not intentional – it just happens. I believe that sin and the initial fall is a lot of the reason for this.
I finally picked up my bible last night after days of not reading it. I had been looking for a way that ruins play into the story of the bible because it’s just been on my mind lately. A friend of mine told me last week while we were on a walk that it’s okay to be ruined, because things can only be rebuilt stronger over time, and if the pieces involved want restoration, things always end up rebuilt if they are broken.
In the story of the bible, we’ve got the ultimate ruin of this man, Jesus. He was put into a tomb for three days after being beaten and hung on a cross. He still rose again, wholly man. With a couple of holes in his hands and feet, we are constantly reminded of what He did for us all. We are broken and ruined – not to the extent he was – but He payed the ultimate price for us. That’s pretty bomb-diggity if you ask me. It’s a fantastic example of how even the biggest ruin can still be rebuilt with God’s love, mercy, and grace.
Throughout the bible, we have stories of walls that are rebuilt. Nehemiah was one of those people who was able to rebuild a wall of complete ruin in 52 days. “I said to them, ‘you see the trouble we are in: Jerusalem lies in ruins, and its gates have been burned with fire. Come let us rebuild the wall of Jerusalem, and we will no longer be in disgrace.’ I also told them about the gracious hand of my God upon me and what the king had said to me. They replied, ‘lets start rebuilding.’ So they began this good work.” -Nehemiah 2:17-18
This is important. The grace of God was upon Nehemiah even when Jerusalem was in ruin! Amidst all those tiny broken pieces, God was still there.
It is often hard for me to see how God is still with me in all of my brokenness. I am fully aware of my brokenness because I am introspective and think that I know myself really well (God is probably laughing at me because the key phrase here is that I think I know myself really well). I know God knows of my brokenness and that He wants me to hand it over to Him, but I have a hard time seeing how He is and will still be with me despite my brokenness. How does God love a girl like this? Who unintentionally breaks things? How did God even begin to repair that… her… me?
He did, though, and He was there, always, through it all.
I am ready to see how God has been in all of my broken moments. This is why I am so excited for the journey ahead, for Training Camp and the rest of this Race. I know it will break me, it will force me to let the floodgates that I’ve been holding back for so long to overflow. I want to be emptied so I can be filled, so I can go and make an impact like Nehemiah did by rebuilding the pieces that were all over the ground.
Instead of a rebuilt brick wall, though, I want a transparent glass wall that shows the cracks all glued together, so I can see how God has gotten me through those shattered pieces. I am ready to be broken more and to face the pain and ruin in my life. It seems nearly impossible to be ready for something as painful as this, but when we have God on our side, it is so entirely possible to be remolded and renewed from pain. It starts now.
This is a really tall order, but I know God will make it happen because He is faithful. I want anything that is not of Christ inside of me to be rebuilt so I can conquer the brokenness and be that Strong Warrior of Christ I know is there inside of me.
Because ruins are stronger after being built back together by all the broken pieces. Yes, all of them.
All my Love,
Ashley
