So I’ve been back in the States for one month and one day. I’ve had high highs and really low lows. I’ve started working part time and have been trying to process this past year abroad and past month in the States. There are just so many things to think about, re-adjust to, plan for – it’s often overwhelming. But in order to help process and embrace this new life, I’ve been keeping a list of thoughts and adjustments. This list has helped me process through the differences. Today I’m in a good place and wanted to share these with you. It’s not everything, but it’s some unscripted thoughts:
Blue/black plaid reminds me of Spur Restaurant in Africa and how gross those bacon cheeseburgers were, with Kiersten and Brandon.
Mickey and Minnie always remind me of Nicole and I think it’s weird how often I see them now.
Anything related to Star Wars reminds me of Brandon and that child’s shirt he found in Swaziland that he’s saving for his kid. Then I’m reminded that Team Fresh told me it would be weird and scare men off if I bought a little Guatamalan outfit for my future daughter.
Making gradual turns in my car in the rain reminds me of that time in Thailand when we used mopeds in the drizzling rain and I almost slid out down the hill. Also, when we were driving back to our hostel in those mopeds and lightning hit the power line right next to us and exploded.
I saw a wet plastic bag on the side of the road in Fenton and thought it was a cobra.
As it was raining a few weeks ago in St. Louis, I thought “Crap, I can’t get this rain in my drink or I’m gonna get diarrhea”
Getting the closest spot possible in the parking lot. I’m guilty of this, but then I’m reminded of the fact that I survived having to walk a mile to get to the grocery store, and getting a spot farther away seems doable.
How easy it is that you can drive back 10 minutes and get something you forgot. Having a car is so convenient.
American’s inside voice is other countries’ yelling voice. Seriously, everywhere else in the world is significantly quieter.
I knew my mom wouldn’t know what “now now” and “just now” meant because that’s only an expression in Africa, so I said, in superb English, “Are you ready this time or later?”
Used a hand mixer with the wrong hands because I forgot which hand I hold the mixer and which I hold the spoon. I was halfway done before I realized why it felt odd.
I saw a complex of houses and condos built the same on a drive to Illinois and it reminded me of all the complexes in other countries that are concrete houses and tin roofs. Specifically that one on the way to the Cape Town airport where each house was made of that but had a satellite dish.
“Uptown funk” will ALWAYS remind me of that night we had a Braai (BBQ) in Botswana and watched funny YouTube videos with Jaco, Claris, and Shirley.
“Love me like you do” and “Chandelier” karaoke and dancing in Swaziland with Kiersten. Those dance moves though!
Trying to dance with the Aunties in Swaziland to their music with Kiersten.
I miss the easy friendliness. That one time in Cape Town when I was singing along to “Thinking Out Loud” and the bathroom attendant asked if I was in love. Thank you Neala for your presence during this exchange.
Impromptu playing “Cups” on guitar while me Kevin, Brandon and Bryan sang the final night of final debrief. “I’ve got my ticket for the long way round…You’re gonna miss me when I’m gone.”
Announcing Team Arson’s team name at debrief to the song “Girl on Fire” while we blew hairspray on a lighter. Our team leader got in trouble for that.
The grass is meticulously trimmed in the States. There are trees planted exactly a certain amount of feet apart. No dust or dirt allowed. That seems like too much work and a waste of time and money.
The accessibility of items is excessive. I searched 5 months in Asia and Africa for a good, thin watercolor brush I could use to make thin lined words. I go to a Michael’s store one day and there are dozens of brushes to choose from. Don’t even get me started about cereal.
I miss being in a group of 7. Before the Race, I dreaded groups of more than 2, but since being back, though I love my one-on-one conversations with friends, I miss the size of this. There’s something about living, serving, eating, doing life in a team of 7 people.
I miss celebrating with people. Though it happens, it isn’t as often as I’d like in the States. These celebrations come from the depth of conversations when we get to mutually choose vulnerability over the comfort of shallow conversations. We get to talk about the highs and lows, speak Identity and Love into each other’s lives, and celebrate victories together.
I miss people being out of my bubble.
I address every person now when I say “Hi” because that’s what other counties do. It’s considered rude to address a group all at once.
I miss the relational priorities of other countries over the task oriented nature of the States. Early on in the Race, I heard that if you had a conversation with a person all day and didn’t get a thing on your to-do list done in the name of “ministry,” it was still a good “ministry” day. How cool that people are valued over tasks. I want to continue living that way.
I miss that common things in the States often weren’t easy overseas. Like getting caught in the rain while walking back a mile from the grocery store with Nicole, Brandon, and Jay. Carrying our bags of groceries and trying not to get our electronics wet. And then trying to get our clothes dry without a dryer when it rained for a couple days.
My new part time job asked for my passport and I wanted few things more than for it to have been a customs officer on my way to a new country.
“Looks like it was a vacation” is one of the hardest things to hear people say about my journey. I respect their opinion but have to speak into that. Some days I was blessed to have off days that made it look like a vacation, but that’s only 2/15 of each month. And even on those off days, we often did ministry (praying, speaking Truth) with people God put on our path. This was the hardest thing I’ve ever done, and because of that, it was the best thing. Often I wasn’t able to take pictures during ministry. It is not a vacation to come alongside men struggling with drug and alcohol addiction and explain Jesus’ life with them (South Africa), or showing Christ’s love to a young girl who is mute or blind (Honduras and Malaysia), or helping dig up dirt/make cement/build a house for a family that was thrown out of theirs (Guatemala), or going to bars in Thailand/Philippines to get women out of sexual slavery, or helping a woman shuck beans all day in order for her to sell them and make a living for herself and her family (Haiti). I lived REAL LIFE outside of the USA; not a vacation, not a break and I loved the majority of my time there. I just lived it without getting paid, and did it in the name of Jesus. I love talking about my trip with anyone who wants to know, so ask for stories anytime and we can talk as long as you’d like.
That’s what I have for you for now. Thanks for taking a glimpse of my thoughts/adjustments over this month. I can tell you more when I see you (or give me a call).
Much love…
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