Hey everyone!
WOW, its the only thing that can come to mind when I think about the last few weeks. It sure has been a whirlwind of emotions.
First starters, I have seen the devil attack my family and I most this past week. One week ago today, my brother suffered 6 seizures between 4am-2pm. This was completely new to us, not the seizures themselves but the amount of them. Honestly, I had never felt such uncertainty I had to completely rely on God. I prayed silently and I rebuked with a shout. I cannot explain how many times I wanted to break down and just cry, but somehow God sustained me. He kept me afloat, He made my mind clear.
“Today my inability to control what was going on collided with the one who HAD IT UNDER CONTROL. In moments when I thought “I can’t do this” my heart would sink, tears would begin to flow, begging God “please don’t let me go” I am unable to keep it together, keep sound mind… Please Lord, don’t leave me.
He armed me with valor, with strength. He put his words in my mouth to speak over Ricky. He gave me a shout to declare victory over the enemy. When he comes in the night like a thief, God comes restored my soul. Today I don’t have a bed to sleep in I just have two chairs, a pillow, and a blanket, but I wouldn’t trade it for nothing in this world.”
I had written this on the day of. I still remember this moment. I remember when the doctor said “He isn’t receiving any oxygen while he is having seizures. If he has another seizure YOU MIGHT WANT TO CONSIDER GIVING PERMISSION FOR US TO INTUBATE HIM” my heart sank, my stomach began turning, my throat was is in a knot.
Good thing we serve a God who is faithful, who works miracles. I sat next to my brother the whole time in the trauma room only taking turns with mom. I knew he would be okay, but it terrified me to see him have yet another one. But, as I continued to pray and worship and just meditate on his word and promises I felt more and more in tune with him.
“I was seating next to Ricky in the trauma room, I remember clearly begging God and telling him. “lord, I trust you. But, in the midst of this agony the ground beneath me is shifting and I can feel myself slipping. Please please God with all that I am I am begging you don’t let me go.” I was holding on to dear God. My hope, my anchor. I felt a knot in my throat and I looked at ricky and I began to assure him. “He’s got you” I could feel his presence and peace like a wave overcame me”
I wrote this yesterday as a flashback, I didn’t realize how much that day changed me until I began remembering the words, the prayers, the encounters of that day and the 3 days following that. They ran tests chemical labs, eeg test, ct scan, constant neurological questions and he passed with flying colors and doctors and nurses would all ask this question “What caused this “breakthrough” of seizures?” I knew the answer, but if I told them they would have looked at me crazy.
The night before, I woke up from a terrifying nightmare about my brother. I knew that was a lie from the devil and I began rebuking it IN THE NAME OF JESUS (btw, there is still power in the name of JESUS!!) I confronted this spirit of fear and the devil. I told him “do what you want! YOU will not remove, disturb, corrupt, steal me away from the path God has intended for me!” See, the devil will attack in every shape and form and its up to us if we allow him to disturb our calling or not. My brother was released on sunday. I saw God move in mighty ways… so now let me tell you what is happening.
*this was supposed to be an update*
We have been home and he has not gotten another seizure! PRAISE BREAK!
I am now $384 away from my first deadline of $3,900! I am leaning on him 100% and I am counting on you as well. Thank You all for your love and support!!
Second Goal: $10,000
Amount Needed to be raised: $7,000
LET’S DO THIS!
