Healing Process
Today I was putting my brother his daily morning breathing treatment and I was thinking of this program I am currently taking. Twelve step biblically and Christ centered program. I’m in the part were I am supposed to take inventory of myself and only myself. The good and the bad and all that comes with it. As I was administering his treatment I thought… “Who would of thought that the healing process could hurt so much?” Yes, I am in pain emotionally, physically, and spiritually. And it seems like God is shaking me awake and all that I had bottled up is finally coming out.
There’s instant healing and then there’s the healing that takes you to a whole new level and my oh my God is kicking it up a notch. See, the broken pieces are becoming more broken than they used to be. But, it’s a good thing because there is something beautiful about it. How could that be? You may ask. Well, I am learning to rely on God, accepting I am powerless to my hurts and bad habits. Yes, I am powerless. God is becoming my strength, my shelter in times of need. Before, I didn’t understand how that worked. Run to him they’d say, but “HOW?” I would ask myself. Now, I know He is my constant, my safe place. I know through Him and only in Him I will have the the power to overcome my hurts and bad habits. I don’t have to do it alone. Well, it’s not like I ever could do it alone. I have God, my rock, my heavenly father, my shelter, the one disciplines, my constant, my all.
Learning to forgive is another step in this journey. We tend to forgive others, but have you ever thought about forgiving yourselves? Most of the time I tend to be harsh on myself criticizing, shaming, and by isolating myself from the world. Learning to forgive myself it’s harder than you think. Sometimes the shame seems bigger than your will to move forward thus making you believe your gonna be stuck in the same place forever. But, those are just lies from the enemy who comes to steal and destroy your identity in Christ. I always knew that, but the devil is good at making you believe otherwise. Good thing, my heavenly father is the omnipotent, omnipresent, and omniscient! Oh YEAH! Reading, learning, and memorizing His word is vital in this journey we call life. Seeking Him daily, becoming more sensitive to the Holy Spirit, giving yourself over to Christ daily is so crucial. I am learning all this, things I knew, but hardly ever practiced it. I am grateful I was brought to this program.
Healing process is painful. It has made me cry, want to give up, got angry, felt despair, terrified, and sometimes it’s even felt agonizing, but in the end I know God will take the shattered pieces and make a masterpiece out of them.
Thank You for taking time and reading my healing process! God Bless!! Be in prayer for me!
Love Always,
Gen!
