On this journey called LIFE, God has been developing me into the man that He orginally created. Whether I am at home around familiar things or overseas in new places on a mothly basis, God is refining me.
Last year when I did the World Race, God developed my inner man and my identity. So far on this trip, God has been develpoing my actions and how I respond to others.
But latley I feel a shift.
I feel like God is about to go back into the inner man and stir some things up. Last year I grew a lot in the Heart side of things. (The fact that I used the phrase “I feel” is proof that I have grown!) I believe God is about to go into “Round 2” with my heart. To read what I learned the first go around, click HERE.
I was beginning to think that I had this emotional, gentle, soft, love, caring side of things down. But if the scale was out of 100, I maybe made it to 15%. Now I probably jumped 10% from beginning at 5% so it felt like I made it a long way. Which is true. I did. But I still have a long way to go. God is not finished with me yet and He will finish what He has started.
On my World Race, I learned about the contrast between the Head and Heart. Something I have been learning on this trip is the contrast between leading by Nurturing vs. leading by using Authority. Mothers/women are typically the nurturing ones and fathers/men are typically the more authoritative ones. I have lead people in both these ways, but the one that is more natural for me is authoritative. I have been learning this year that I have a pastoral/shepherding gift. With this gift, I need to be able to be strong with my voice, give constructive feedback, stand confident in conflict, and if need be, send people home. But the other side of it is asking people how they are doing, praying for them, figuring out their love language and doing the things that bless them most, caring about their emotions, feelings and the relationship, rather than trying to be right and proving a point.
I am learning to balance these 2 things and walk in greater maturity to lead God’s sheep into the promised land. Some days I get it. Some days I fail and say things I shouldn’t. Then I get to go to the people I hurt, apologize and do what I can to reconcile the relationship. God gave us this ministry. 2 Corinthians 5:18-20 says, “All this is from God, who reconciled us to himself through Christ and gave us the ministry of reconciliation: that God was reconciling the world to himself in Christ, not counting people’s sins against them. And he has committed to us the message of reconciliation. We are therefore Christ’s ambassadors, as though God were making his appeal through us. We implore you on Christ’s behalf: Be reconciled to God”.
Throughout life we make many mistakes. I desire to always be humble enough to own up to them and make them right. Everyone desires others to do that, but not many people are willing to go there themselves. Reconcilliation is impossible if we are prideful.
Lately I have had frustrations towards people in my squad. My first resoponse is to go to them and tell them what they are doing wrong. But my first response should be to care for their hearts. I can ask them if there is there is anything hard going on in their life and ask if I can help in any way. Rather than teach or preach at them, I can treat them like a human with a heart and repond in a practical way that speaks to their current need. I naturally think that if there is a problem someone is dealing with, they just need to be given some head knowlege and that will fix it. Although this does work some of the time, I am learning more and more that people just need to be seen and to be loved well.
God is healing my heart so I can better help heal others hearts. He is teaching me to be gentle, full of mercy and compassion and to walk in a nurturing spirit. I “feel” like I am going to be crying more in this next season. I will probably hate it and love it at the same time. I’ll probably be an emotional mess and won’t know why I feel so much stuff. But if it will help me love people better and represent my King, then all of it will be worth it. I know I’m going to impact the nations with this heart and every bit closer to looking like Christ will make a difference.
