So last week my vehicle died on me. God then provided another vehicle. An even better vehicle. And it stopped working too. Through this, God brought me to place where I recognized that I cannot do this life on my own. I need God. So I wrote a blog and asked people to be praying. If you didn’t catch my last blog, you can read about it Here. About half an hour after that, my brother came home and was going to look at the vehicles and see what is wrong with them. He then turned the key in both of them and to our surprise they both started up!
We think the reason my car wasn’t working was due to it being really cold out (-30*C), and the new vehicle I got from my dad wasn’t working because it was a really dead battery. So whether it was the warmer weather and a battery charger that fixed them or God coming down as a mechanic and making the vehicles work, I don’t know. But what I do know is that God used this situation to teach me some really important truths and the vehicles both work now!
God has been taking me through a lot these past 2 weeks. It’s been an amazing learning time. I was getting overwhelmed a few weeks ago. My job had cut down on hours for me to work, so my pay check was going to be a lot smaller than I am used to. Also, its time to start paying off my student loans. My loan is at $6000 CND. Also, (as in my last blog) my vehicle situation was not going as favorable. All these things were happening at the same time and my focus was not on Jesus, but rather the natural world. God brought me to a place of surrender. I had to realize I could not do this on my own. I need Jesus. So after a few days/weeks of surrendering, there has been a lot of breakthrough. As soon as I surrendered, the vehicles started working, I got random other small 1 day jobs, work picked up and people were paying for my meals. God’s provision has been so evident. As I put my trust in the invisible, I saw things happening in the natural. But I had to first put my trust in what I did not see.
So for the past 8 months I have been asking God for a camera and a laptop. I wasn’t seeing God providing these things and so I thought maybe I have to do something about it. I asked people to donate money on my birthday so that I could then put it towards a laptop. God was pointing out how asking for money for my birthday for a laptop was me trying to do it on my own effort. So I gave that situation to Him and He began teaching me more about sonship in His Kingdom. He was revealing to me how I have a poverty mindset. I got this in the way that I was raised. So I try to cheap out on nice things that I want. Also I see the need to beg God for them, rather than ask Him as a son of God. I also didn’t think I was worthy of having such nice things.
God was shaking my life around in such an amazing way. I am seeing more and more each day that I am a son of a King.
Last week I was about to go to sleep at 3am and God spoke and said, “Jordan, how much money do you need for everything?” So I knew I needed $2800 for the laptop, but I didn’t know how much for the camera. I never looked into it because I thought I would never be able to afford it. So I got out of my bed (at 3am) and went to my computer and looked up the price of the camera I wanted. There are 3 models of the camera I want. So naturally I would have picked the least expensive one. But the most expensive one appeared first. Then a thought popped into my head, “If God is going to provide $2800 for a laptop and $1800 for this camera, what’s an extra few dollars” So I picked the $2500 camera. But it didn’t come with any lenses. So I picked the $500 basic lens. But then a thought popped into my head again, “If God is going to provide $2800 for a lap top and $3000 for a camera and a lens, what’s an extra few dollars in Gods eyes?” So I proceeded to pick out 2 more lenses that I want. One costs $1000 and the other is $1500. God spoke again and was like, “Is that all?” So I decided to add $200 in case for extra adapter stuff. The total came to $8500 which is $8925 with tax. So the number $10,000 was coming to my mind. So I began to ask God for these things. That either He would provide the camera itself or the money to buy it.
God also showed me that He doesn’t even have to provide a “Mac”Book or “Sony” Camera. He can make His own brand in Heaven and drop it off in my bedroom. This laptop can be the weight of a feather and be instant speed. How cool is that??? What He was showing me was to not limit Him to human thinking. God is so much bigger and better than what I can ever think or imagine. So I need to be open to anything He wants to do. (So if you see me using a laptop that doesn’t look like your average laptop, that’s why)
God then told me that He is not going to tell me if I am going to get these things. He wants me to put my priorities in order and keep Him first. I was making those material things an idol and focusing on them more than I was on Jesus. So at one point I thought these things were wrong to have because I made them an idol (this was part of the poverty mindset) But God showed me that He was the one who gave me these desires. He gave me a passion for taking pictures and video. He put dreams into me to promote the Kingdom of God, His people and ministries. He put desires in me to share stories by the use of media. He gave me desires to inspire future missionaries by giving them a glimpse of what I do. So by asking for these things to use as tools in His Kingdom, is by no means wrong. He delights in this. A verse that He kept bringing up in the past few weeks is Luke 12:32 which says, “Do not be afraid, little flock, for your Father has been pleased to give you the kingdom”. (NIV) It amazes me that God not just is giving us the Kingdom, but that He is PLEASED to give it to us.
As for the camera and laptop, I desire them to bring glory to the Kingdom of God. And more importantly, I want Jesus more than I want any silly piece of plastic. Jesus is all I need. And He says in the verse just before the one I mentioned, “But Seek His Kingdom, and these things will be given to you as well” (talking about physical needs). My priorities are back in order. I am not putting my trust in man to provide. I am trusting in God and God alone. And if He doesn’t provide these things, I still have Him and that’s all I needed any ways. The laptop and camera are just extras.
So a friend who was praying for me got these words for me, “Be persistent and patient in prayer”. It spoke to me saying, “Keep spending time with Jesus and be waiting expectantly. Don’t give up on your dreams.”
People have told me my whole life to dream BIG, but I have never really done this. I never believed I was worthy to receive good things. And if there was something really cool that I wanted, I would have to work hard for it. But I have learned that God loves to give good gifts to His children. He doesn’t give a stone when we ask for bread. He doesn’t give a snake when we ask for a fish. If earthly dads don’t do that, how much more our Heavenly Father.
So in this past spring I finished Bible College and did not have a vehicle. Over the span of the last 8 months God has provided 4 different vehicles for me to use (all from my family members). I only had to pay for the monthly insurance. I have never missed a day of work because of a lack of vehicles. God is amazing!
The same God that provided 4 vehicles is the same God that will supply all my needs according to HIS glorious riches in Christ Jesus.
I have $8000 left to raise for my World Race account.
I have $6000 in student loans.
I desire $10,000 for a Laptop, Camera, lenses and extras.
I cannot do this without Jehovah Jireh. (God my Provider)
The more I focus on the numbers, the more discouraged and filled with doubt I get. But the more I look to Jesus and walk with Him, these numbers are piddly. Not even pocket change for My God.
So if you believe in the God of the impossible, believe and pray for these things with Me. Let God’s Kingdom come here on earth as it is in Heaven. So Let It Be!
