Wow, what a question. Who Am I?? As some of you know I’ve been struggling and searching to find the answer to this age old question. The answers have been fascinating! I’m like a child with a new toy. My eyes and ears are open wide. Ill say that it hasn’t been easy. But I wanted to give you an idea. Just what is going on inside my head. Ill be brief! (sort of) I wouldn’t scare you with everything that goes on in there 😉
#1
Perfection. I’ve strived my whole life to be perfect. It may not seem that way, but my decisions have rarely been based off of what I want, or what I like but they’ve been based off of what the perfect person should do. The idea I had for myself, what would she do. I wanted to be the perfect daughter. The perfect friend. The traveler. The perfect Christian. The best children’s person. So everything I did was focused on being perfect in some area or another. My choices have never been based on what I like. What I enjoy. So much so that I dont know what I like to do!! What?! Its been amazing to realize that I dont know myself. Jesus is teaching me about me =)) What does Emily like!! Emily likes beverages. I LOVE beverages. Soda. Milkshakes. Smoothies. Juice. Water. Tea. Coffee. We will go out to eat and I’ll have 3 drinks picked out before I even look at food. I didn’t know that. Fanta is my JAM! It reminds me of Home =) My parents usually (if they drink soda at all) Its either Sprite or Fanta and on the race thats my thing. WHO KNEW?! I do now =)
#2
I value knowing people and doing life with them. 1 month is so stinking short. How I ever did one week in a place I have no idea! I love dinner and good conversation. Or bon fires. Or conversation and cards. Going on a walk and just talking One on One. My job at home is not in a christian environment and I have found that I really, truly enjoy that. Just doing life with everyone, christian and non christian. Listening to everyones thoughts and ideas. Learning from people and seeing life from various points of view. I honestly want to know what you think and why you think it. I want to understand your point of view whether I agree or not. Man thats good. A willingness to learn goes a long way! On the race everyone is different and values different things. I kept trying to be everyone. Seeing the importance in their personal convictions and values. So obviously to be perfect I needed to be, do and feel all the same things. Exhausting. Impossible. I know what I value now. Its not shameful. Its me!
#3
BALANCE!!!! Life is ALLLL about balance. Everyone who truly loves Jesus and has the Holy Spirit within them has something to teach us. Whether you do life they way they do or not, we have to learn from each other. Respect each other and our differences. I personally would not flourish in a conservative environment but I learned so many things about who God is from people I shared life with last month. We are different but there was a love and respect there and it was GOOD =) Work hard but also rest enjoy and play. Balance. Don’t deny truth but also don’t deny Forgiveness. Balance. Everything you see and hear and touch, test it. Weigh it against Biblical truth and what Holy Spirit speaks to you and see what Jesus does with it. Balance. Where you are passionate, BE PASSIONATE, where you don’t care let it go. Balance =)
Im learning about myself. Whats important to me, whats not, what just doesn’t matter. Im learning about my team! What they like, what they value and respecting them when our values are different. Not trying to be them. But walking in who I am and who God created me to be. BALANCE AND UNDERSTANDING. MMMmmm good stuff =)
