Saying “good bye” is hard to do.
When I look back at my four years in college, the first thoughts that come to mind have to do with the people that I have had the privilege of meeting. Regardless of where I met them, school, a summer camp, or a sorority; the Lord has put some pretty incredible people in my life. They have all changed my life in some way.
With all of that being said, the Lord has taught me one of the hardest lessons I have ever had to learn in my entire life because of those people. I have always been a people person. As a result, for the longest time I found my worth and my purpose in the people I love. I have spent my entire life wanting to be accepted and loved by those around me, which wound up causing a lot of pain. I was looking for those things with the wrong people (who are still wonderful) because there is only ONE right person to find those things in. His name is Jesus.
In a hard way, the Lord has shown me that only through Him am I fully known, accepted, and loved because that was the way He intended it to be. Nobody can be my Jesus and likewise I cannot be anyone’s Jesus either even though that is what a lot of us try to do. We want to be someone’s everything. We want to be their go to person. But the fact of the matter is that we will never be able to fully love someone in the way that they need to be. That can only be found in Jesus.
When I was in the process of figuring all of this out, people kept telling me “people are in your life for seasons,” which in the beginning honestly made no sense to me and did not really make me feel any better. Why are some people only in your life for a season? I was confused with how to process this statement. I was angry with God that He would allow me to learn this lesson. Why do we have to let some people go? And if some people are only in our lives for seasons then why should I continue to love people so deeply?
Then, through more conversations and by reading certain books, a new way of thinking when it comes to the people in my life began to form. Here are a few quotes that helped me in that process:
“Death or absence does not end or even diminish the love of God that brought you to other person. It calls you to take a new step into the mystery of God’s inexhaustible love. This process is painful, very painful, because the other person has become a true revelation of God’s love for you. But the more you are stripped of the God-given support of people, the more you are called to love God for God’s sake. This is an awesome and even dreadful love, but it is the love that offers eternal life.” Henri Nouwen
“When you know yourself as fully loved, you will be able to give according to the other’s capacity to receive, and you will be able to receive according to the other’s capacity to give. You will be grateful for what is given to you without clinging to it, and joyful for what you can give without bragging about it. You will be a free person, free to love.” Henri Nouwen
“You know, your joy and your pain give you a mission. Those who came to live with you, from whom you received much and to whom you gave much, aren’t just leaving you. You are sending them back to their schools, their homes, and their families, to bring some of the love they have lived with you. It’s hard. It’s painful to let them go. But when you realize that this is a mission, you will be able to send your friends to continue their journeys without losing the joy they brought you.” Henri Nouwen
Ultimately, He has revealed to me that He graciously allows my life to intersect with other people’s lives in order to aid in their mission or for them to aid in my mission; however, that still means that we have separate missions. When we begin to see the people that we meet in this way, it is easier to be thankful for anytime that you get to spend with them. It may only be a week, a month, a year, two years, and for some even a lifetime. You will learn to cherish every moment with those you love. You will be able to love them more deeply because you have already been shown love. You will be able to give of yourself without expecting anything in return because you have already been fully accepted. You will be able to be grateful for everything that that person taught you. You will see the people that you meet in your life as precious gifts.
And just maybe saying “good bye” won’t be this thing we have a hard time saying, but a statement of thankfulness for all of the amazing moments that were shared and a statement of empowerment as we all continue on our journeys.
