As I lay in bed with my niece and nephew asleep on either side of me, I keep imagining that if I don’t go to sleep then tomorrow won’t come. Naive? Yes, but wishing helps. Tomorrow is my first day of goodbyes. I will say goodbye for a year to not only my niece and nephew, but also many of my favorite friends. While I am ready to start my race, I am in no way ready to leave this life behind. Adventures in Missions is famous for talking about abandonment. We abandon our life of comforts to serve the least of these. While I am so excited to serve, I am also scared to leave. I look around at the people I love and already feel as homesick as I imagine I will be in month 9.
How can I be so excited and so sad all at the same time? I am so excited for this adventure that I am about to embark on with the Lord, but I can’t help feel an overwhelming sense of loss for the moments I will be leaving behind: birthdays, weddings, births, holidays. What seems like the biggest lost, however, are the mundane nothing-so-great days with my best friends and family that make this relational life worth living. Going to my parents for dinner and just enjoying the evening in the familiarity of family. The phone calls from Chelsea that I wouldn’t trade for the world. The afternoon of hiking with Hannah that remind me of the amazing people God has placed in my life. Worshipping with my amazing Bethel Atlanta family in the freedom that I have probably started to take for granted. It is these, completely ordinary moments with the most extraordinary of people that I will miss the most. It is these things that make leaving equal parts sad and excitement. I have been waiting for this day for the better part of one and a half years, but I never knew it would be so bittersweet.
Starting tomorrow, this last week is one heavy with goodbyes, a practice I am sure I will get very good at over the next eleven months. As for now, I am no good at it. So this is not goodbye, but a see you later to the hearts and hands of those I love. Thank you for supporting me so much as I prepare and for believing in me always. This blog is dedicated to you. I will miss you dearly! I can’t wait to see you again!
