Trying to talk about training camp is like trying to explain physics to a kindergartener. There was so much that happened this past week that it all seems a bit overwhelming. First and foremost, I met some of the most amazing, inspiring, and passionate people I have ever had the pleasure to call my friends. My new (F)amily of F Squaders has become just that: family. I have fallen in love with people who were complete strangers a week ago. We have laughed together, cried together, learned together, and grown together. I never knew that I could fall in love with friends so easily, but here I am, less than one week later, with an ache of longing in my chest for my new family. I love them, and, while it will be one of the hardest things I have ever done to leave behind my friends and family for eleven months, I could not imagine any better people to join me on this journey.
From spontaneous dance parties to spending the evening “making a memory” with my new teammates, I had one of the most amazing weeks of my life. It wasn’t all fun and games, however. With no spoilers for future racers (sorry, but I love you too much to spoil this for you!), we were challenged this week in every way possible: physically, emotionally, and spiritually. By the end of the week, after thinking for the majority of the week that this would test me physically but that spiritually I was on the right track, I broke.
I was made a team leader to five of the most amazing girls (Team Blog Coming Soon!). This team has the potential to be seriously amazing. I have so much to learn from each one of these girls. They all carry the Kingdom in such a different way. It truly is beautiful. As an all girl team, we come with a whole different set of challenges. I had the opportunity to learn very early in the game the dynamics of a team leader. At first, it broke me. I was listening to all of the lies that were coming at me. “You aren’t strong enough for this.” “You don’t have what it takes” “You aren’t prepared for this”. Feeling abandoned and so small, I cried out to God. I couldn’t do this alone. I couldn’t lead a team without him. I couldn’t honor my team without him. Heck, at that point, because of all of the lies coming at me, I couldn’t even love my team well without him. I was broken.
I sat in the woods alone crying and not knowing what to do, only knowing that I needed Him. So we sat there. As I cried, He spoke. Our history played out before me as He spoke. He HAS prepared me for this. I AM strong enough for this because He is here. I DO have what it takes because I am HIS. I am ENOUGH. He loves me. He cares about me. He is FOR me. If He is for me, who could be against me? I AM safe because HE is my safe place, not the opinions of others or how well my team is functioning. HE is my safe place. He reminded me that He has placed portions of his glory within me that my team and the world needs so I need only be myself. His love and acceptance filled every part of my being. It is true that I cannot do this alone, but it is also true that I will never have to! What areas in your life do find yourself feeling less than enough? Could it be that you, like me, are under the influence of a lie? He is longing to touch those areas with his love. His perfect love is the only way to truly cast out all fear. Let him speak his truth into those pieces of your heart. Let his love reap its full reward!
Introducing F Squad! These are the amazing squad mates and leaders that I will be working alongside for the next 11 months!
New Updates:
-I leave on June 29th for Team Leader Training, and I launch July 3rd!
-The order, not the countries, of my route have changed! We will now start in Bolivia!
-I still need to raise $1,722 before June 20 in order to launch with my squad in July! If you feel called to help me in this process, you can donate online by clicking on the “Support Me” tab in the top left hand corner of my blog or directly to me!
Thank you so much to everyone who has had me in their thoughts and prayers this past week while I was at training camp. This year is going to be harder than I ever imagined it could be but also more rewarding than I ever hoped!
