Almost four years ago, when I was a sophomore and my roommate was a freshman, we were lying in our beds(because it was late and we had an exam in like nine hours), with the lights still on(because we were never ready to stop talking and sleep), talking about the future.
Jamie wanted to be a missionary. She either wanted to live in Ireland or be a chaplain in the military.
I wanted to get married. I had no idea why I was in school because there was nothing else in the world I wanted to do.
We’d had plenty of conversations about these things before, but on this particular night we were talking about what it would be like if that wasn’t how our lives turned out.
Jamie said that she was sure I was meant to be a wife and a mom, because she’d never met anyone who wanted it as badly as I did, and she believed that God had put that desire there for a reason. Plus she really thought I’d be good at it.
I told her I couldn’t see her doing anything besides missions. Some people need to remind themselves that there are people in the world who need the gospel, but not Jamie. If anything she’d forget that there was still work for her in America. She was so not made to be in this country forever; her heart for the nations is too big.
We both went to sleep happy that night, assured that what we wanted was what would happen.
I’ve replayed that conversation in my head a lot over the years. I’m almost 23 years old and I’ve still never even been on a date. So often I’d ask myself, where’s that husband Jamie was so sure God would send me?
Now, I’m glad he hasn’t found me yet. If I was engaged or even just seriously dating a guy right now, I wouldn’t even think of leaving the country; for any amount of time, much less eleven months.
One day when my mom was once again complaining that if I leave for a year I’ll never get married, I yelled at her, “Nobody wants to marry me right now, but the GOD OF THE UNIVERSE wants to take me around the world telling people that he LOVES them. Isn’t that so much more exciting than a wedding or grandkids???” She didn’t buy it, but I still think it’s a pretty good point.
I’m okay with the fact that my life is nothing like I imagined. Instead it’s twelve times better.
Plus, get this. You know what Jamie’s doing this summer, while I’m traveling the world? She’s getting married.
When we were promising each other four years ago that our hopes and dreams made sense, God was looking down on us with a big smile on his face knowing we’d actually end up trading plans, and we’d both be happier for it.
He always knows what he’s doing. I love him.
