PART 3A
I didn’t think I’d have a hard time being away from home for a year. I’ve never been the homesick kind, and even though I’m a 100% feeler on the Myers-Briggs, I’m really good at logically handling my feelings, so whenever I do get it I can talk myself out of it pretty easily.
But then randomly on Wednesday afternoon when we were walking up the hill to our campsite, I suddenly missed my mom so much I wanted to cry. Right there in the middle of laughing with my friends about something I don’t remember, all I wanted to do was crawl in my tent and lose it for a minute. Not because I hated where I was and wanted to go home, but because I was so happy and wanted to tell my mom about it and couldn’t.
I love my mom and tell her everything. Good things don’t seem quite real until I’ve followed her around the kitchen talking a mile a minute about it for an hour.
Wednesday had been the best day of training camp so far, and I had four days worth of excitement stored up in me that I hadn’t yet vented to my favorite person. So as I caught myself scripting how to describe it all to her and imagining what she’d have to say, I realized I wouldn’t get to talk to her for four more days, and so much more would happen in that time, and what if I forgot something important, and OH MY GOSH THIS IS WHAT MY LIFE WILL BE LIKE FOR ELEVEN WHOLE MONTHS PLEASE GOD I QUIT DON’T MAKE ME DO IT.
I forgot about it soon enough, but it’ll still be a weird thing to get used to. I don’t think I’ve ever been homesick and happy at the same time before.
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PART 3B
Please tell me someone got that reference in the title?
Anyways.
I love surprises more than almost anything else. So as training camp got closer and we still had no more information other than where it was and when to show up, I had no problem with being in the dark. It made it more exciting to look forward to it when everything was still up to my imagination.
Then we got there, and as soon as they handed us our packets for the week, I flipped through looking for a schedule. Of course there wasn’t one. At the beginning of our first session that night, they told us we wouldn’t be given one at all and would only be told what’s immediately next.
That was the first of many things that caused me to say about TC and the World Race in general, “I love it EVEN MORE!!!”
All throughout TC, especially in the first couple days, lots of people were saying that they were wondering what they’d gotten themselves into. Not that they were thinking about quitting, just that they were realizing the Race would be even harder than they’d expected.
I was surprised that I wasn’t one of those people. Aside from the small homesickness episode(which lasted maybe five minutes so it barely counts), I only ever got more excited with everything we did.
The second morning after breakfast, one of our training leaders asked me how I was doing. I bounced in my chair and answered completely honestly, “I’m exactly where I’m supposed to be and I am PERFECT!” And that totally sounds like something you’d tell yourself over and over until it’s true, but I actually meant it.
Yes, this will be harder than I thought(way harder), and things I thought wouldn’t be a problem are actually going to be the most difficult parts of it(see Part A again).
Being totally honest all the time with my team will be hard.
Talking to my mom only a couple times a month, and my friends a couple times a year, will be hard.
Eating won’t be as hard as I thought, but it still won’t be easy. I was a trooper this week and choked every bite down with a smile on my face, but once we’re actually on the Race and I’m not showing off for people I just met anymore, the struggle will get real.
But…somehow I’m still not scared yet. There are so many more important things that will be even better than I expected.
It won’t be easy. But it will be SO. GOOD.
