I’ve been home 6 months now and the time has gone by fast. It takes little facebook reminders to tell me that last year this time I was in Pretoria, South Africa, living in a campground with my entire squad, experiencing gnarly thunderstorms, preparing little notes for people and grateful to be able to celebrate with a real feast.
My first month home was a surreal. My favorite question in that time was, “How’s your soul?” It was only then that I could admit that I was numb, exhausted and overall worse for wear. Going to Project Searchlight a month later in Georgia though put me on the path of recovering from the weariness. There I was loved on, poured into and renewed.
I spent a few more months working to restore my sense of well-being. My community here provided a safe place to wrestle with God over what I had experienced. So much of the last half of the Race was so exhausting that by the time I came back I was disconnected from myself, unable to understand what I thought and felt. It was only in solitude and the restfulness of my friendships back home that I could at last relax and begin to reconnect with myself.
Now what am I doing you ask? …
For the last several months I’ve been remodeling a home with my family. The first few weeks’ life was so much like the Race. I slept on the ground. We had a hose out front for running water. We cooked in two rice cookers. We heated water and then wiped down because there was no shower and we drove over to the gas station to go to the bathroom. We did manual labor all day long, while my body groaned from the aches and pains.
I spent a lot of time with my family and came to understand them better. We had family meetings where we wrestled through decisions and fought a lot. But, I walked a mile in their shoes and came to understand better their daily struggles, to admire how hard this work is and patient you have to be with the process . One change I discovered was that before the Race, I LOATHED manual labor, and after doing so much of it on the Race, that now I still dislike it, but don’t have quite the same negative emotions I had before.
What’s Next?
Around February 22nd, I’m moving to Gainesville, Georgia and joining the Adventures in Mission staff and community. As steps in life go, this is basically the biggest one I’ve ever taken- having never re-located and always wanting to remain in San Francisco. But, it’s been about two years now that God started to impress on me that I would have to maintain a posture of surrender regarding my attachment to SF in order for Him to take me where He wants me to go.
In all that time I couldn’t ever imagine how it would come together that I’d willingly move away. Until…one day in September, I received the email asking me if I’d be interested in a growing a crucial part of the mission of Adventures and the World Race. As it grows they need to develop a system to help people with life and career planning. I’d help to build it and test it on Racers as they finish.
After the short conversation, my heart sensed an inner knowing that this was what God had been pointing to and even though I have my apprehensions, it was something He would have me step into.
So that’s where I am. Finishing up things at home. Preparing yet again to leave. The future full of potentials and as uncertain as ever. Trying my best to believe in faith that as I traverse unfamiliar ground that there will be daunting challenges but in the midst of those provisions of grace.
