I have read many of these blogs, but I never thought that I would be writing one. We are people that make a decision and stick to it, end of story. If we have a goal or a plan we achieve it, no questions asked. So I think that is why we have such a hard time with a major change in plans.
We recently attended training camp in preparation to leave for our trip in July. I was filled with anxiety about it prior to going, but after about a day we both felt at home, like we were family. We felt a peace about our decision. However after a few days we met with some of the AIM staff. We had a very honest conversation about how we were doing as a couple.
In our marriage we have had struggles that very few people have to deal with and very few people know about. As a result of this there are issues in our marriage that many people cannot understand, because in truth we do not fully understand them. It was decided by AIM staff that we needed to take 6 more months to work through these issues better. That way we will actually have privacy rather than dealing with them when we are living with 5 other people. We also needed to prepare ourselves better for how we will deal with things once we leave.
While we feel like we would be fine if we went on our trip in July, I'm sure if we work over the next 6 months to have our marriage be truly Christ-centered and the priority above work, family, and money we will have a much better experience once we are out in the field. And if our relationship with each other is better, then the people that are on our team will also be much happier because they won't have a bickering marriage couple bugging them all the time. We are by no means saying that we have a terrible marriage, but what marriage can't do better if we make that our priority?
Overall it was really hard to leave our plans and dreams, but we don't know what God has in store for us. I think so often we get so caught up in our plans and our ideas and our future that we forget that the whole purpose of this life is to serve God. We must follow HIS plan and HIS ideas, even if we don't understand them. We don't know why we aren't suppose to go in July, and we are praying that this will be revealed within the next 6 months, but we may never fully understand. There are so many possibilities of greater things that could come as a result of this, and now it is time for us to trust that God knows what he is doing, even if it beyond our understanding.
"For My thoughts are not your thoughts,
Nor are your ways My ways," declares the LORD.
"For as the heavens are higher than the earth,
So are My ways higher than your ways
And My thoughts than your thoughts
Isaiah 55: 8,9
