The past week or two I’ve found myself reflecting more and more on the little moments this time of year brings. As I was decorating for Christmas and putting up my tree last week it hit me that I won’t be doing that next year. I won’t be hanging up lights or putting ornaments on the tree. I won’t be watching the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day parade on Thanksgiving morning or going Black Friday shopping with my family. There will be no holiday parades to watch, no hot chocolate to drink or Christmas cookies to bake. No nights curled up on the couch watching Christmas movies with my family or simply watching the snow fall outside the window. I’ll miss the joy on my younger cousins faces as they open presents on Christmas day and miss the moments of opening gifts as a family on Christmas Eve.
As I sat by my tree, surrounded by ornaments I began to doubt my decision to go on the race. Is this really what I’m supposed to be doing? How will I possibly be able to be away from my family for 11 months and miss so many of these special Thanksgiving and Christmas moments? Knowing that over the next two months I will be doing things that I won’t be able to do next year is very, very sad for me. Traditions are extremely important to me and are some of the things in life that I cherish the most. Knowing I will be missing out on so many of these traditions and family memories honestly makes me not want to not even go on the race. Please be praying for me as I process all of these emotions and that God would reveal to me what He is wanting to show and teach me in the midst of this sadness and doubt.
While I’m sad to have finally come to this realization of all the things I will be missing out on next year, I am so grateful as well because I’ve found myself being much more aware of the little moments. I’ve come to look forward to and appreciate each of these traditions more and more. I find myself in the midst of these moments, being so appreciative, grateful and content with taking every single second in. Even though I never want those moments to end, I find myself taking just a little bit more time to cherish what is happening around me.
I want to encourage you to cherish every moment! You never know when it will be the last Christmas cookie you’ll decorate, the last parade you’ll watch or the last time opening presents with family. Life can change in an instant. Families lose loved ones, traditions change, children grow up and life just gets in the way. I know I’m not going away for forever, I’ll be back after 11 months and I’ll be able to experience all these things again, but nonetheless; I want to be more aware of these moments and how special they are. Thanksgiving had a whole new meaning for me this year and I pray that you would experience the same! I pray that God would show you the little moments and that you would take those few extra seconds to be thankful for what you have and cherish time with family and friends.
While I currently have my doubts and fears, I do look forward to seeing what this time of year will look like for me next year! What will it be like waking up in El Salvador on Thanksgiving morning and waking up in Malawi on Christmas Day? What new experiences will I have? What new traditions will I experience? I look forward to sharing all of those new things with you and hope you will consider joining me on this journey so you can be a part of it as well. Enjoy this holiday season and please, please, please take a few extra moments to reflect on everything you’ve been blessed with and spend some extra time just being with family. You won’t regret it and you’ll be so grateful for those moments!
