Passion, purpose and grace. Those three words have consumed my life the past few weeks. What am I passionate about? Why was I created with those passions? Am I truly doing what I’m passionate about or am I doing what society tells me I “should” be doing? Am I doing something just to please those around me and gain their approval? What is the purpose for my passions? What happens if I don’t pursue what I was truly put on this earth to do? What if I don’t fulfill my purpose because I’m too fearful to take that leap of faith? So many questions have flooded my heart and mind these past 30 days. And then comes the word grace. What does grace have to do with all of this and what is God wanting to show me about grace? I have no clue! But what I do know, is that He will show me!
Now you may be wondering, where in the world does Justin Bieber come into all of this talk about passion, purpose and grace? Well as you may or may not have heard, Justin Bieber recently cancelled the remaining dates for his world tour. Why is this a big deal for me you ask? The one time I have tickets for one of his concerts, the one time…he cancels! I bought tickets months ago to his concert in Minneapolis as a birthday/Christmas gift for my brother Brandon. I was so angry and upset when I got the email from Ticketmaster stating that: the event you bought tickets for has been cancelled. Why would you do that? How could you do that to your fans? You committed to this tour and you need to follow through! How in the world could you do something like this? Those questions flooded my mind within seconds of receiving that cancellation email. Now normally I wouldn’t be upset over something being cancelled but come on. The one time we have tickets and the one time we have really great seats! Ugh!
I found myself getting upset with him and I didn’t think his choice to cancel his tour was “right”. He made a commitment to follow through with that tour and it wasn’t fair for him to just give it all up. The more I thought about how I was feeling the more convicted I began to feel. God has been doing some major work in my heart lately and a lot of things have changed in my life as a result. I’ve come to the realization that there are things in my life that I’m just no longer passionate about. I don’t see myself doing those things in the future and I no longer wanted to pursue them. I knew there were going to be people that didn’t understand or maybe didn’t approve of my choices. But I knew it was God speaking to me to make those choices and I knew I needed to follow what my passions were. Justin’s tour obviously wasn’t one of his passions anymore. He needed time away to focus on things more important to him. I’m sure he knew that people would be disappointed and that many may not understand his choices. Yet he went through with it anyways because he know it was the right decision.
One of the things that I’m no longer passionate about is nursing. Some of you know that I’ve been in school at LTC for nursing for the past year or so. I chose to go back to school for nursing because I wanted something that would be useful overseas since I see myself overseas longterm in the future. I didn’t really ask God what he wanted to go to back to school for or if he even wanted me to go back to school. This past summer I decided to no longer pursue a degree in nursing because it’s just not something I’m passionate about. While making that decision I was so afraid of what people would think of me for not continuing with that degree or even pursuing something else at the time. I was afraid of letting my family down and that they would be disappointed in me. There were so many things I was afraid of in making that decision. But over and over God kept telling me that I needed to let go of those fears and trust in Him that He knows what He is doing. The only acceptance and approval that I need in this life is from Him.
God has also shown me that I’ve become way too comfortable with where my life is at right now. I’m too comfortable with my job, my relationships, the church I attend and the relationships I have. He’s been showing me that he wants me to step out of my comfort zone in a huge way and experience Him and the world in a new way. He’s also shown me the importance of complete and total obedience to him regardless of my fears. Even when I’m afraid to step out in that obedience, I know that is the best place for me to be. I want to be fearless. I want to be free from the fear of failure, free from the fear of regret and free from worrying about what other people think of me. So what does being fearless look like? Being fearless for me looks like stepping out of my comfort zone in a huge way and obeying the call that God has placed on my life.
All of that has lead me to The World Race! The World Race is an 11 month mission trip to 11 different countries. This has been something I’ve wanted to do for years but never ended up doing it because I was afraid and didn’t want to leave home for that long. Well this time I’m going to step out in faith let God lead me wherever he wants! I want to live a life that is pleasing to Him and serve Him wholeheartedly!
