They talk about this point. The “half way through the Race don’t give up!” point.
Half way through Month 6 is officially half way through The World Race and they say this is when Racers start to hit a wall and give up and just want to go home.
I have great friends, family, and Squad mates all around me always asking, “So how are you doing? You hanging in there? You still enjoying it?” My response is always, “Yeah, I’m good! Still loving every moment of it. Love just being a part of what God is doing in my life right now.”
But something shifted for me a few days into Month 7 (Bulgaria) and I hit that wall.
The wall that says: I’m over it. Everyone on my team is getting on my nerves. I’m tired of fighting for people. I’m tired of wearing the SAME freakin’ 4 shirts over and over. I’m tired of looking and feeling unkept and unattractive even on my “good” days. I’m tired never feeling like my clothes are ever, truly, clean. I miss my friends from back home. I miss talking to my friends and family whenever I want. I miss church services in English. I miss Disney. I can’t take this cold weather anymore someone put me in a hot and humid climate like YESTERDAY. I miss running. I’m over going to the store and having no idea what I’m buying because nothing is in English. I’m tired of living out of a backpack. I’m tired of traveling. I’m just…..
This World Race lifestyle is not normal, I tell ya. It’s extreme, frustrating, challenging, and messy (oh is it messy). I’m not going to go on and make a whole list of pros and cons. But I will say that even in this season, I’m not giving up. I’m going to fight because this life is beautiful and it’s worth it. It really is. And through the encouragement and reminder from my Sister, Bethany, it is through brokenness that we grow and we find more of Him in the darkness.
I can’t recall many friends in my life who have fought for me. I’m always the pursuer. The one that fights to keep in touch, to hang out, to first text just to say “hey what’s up, just thinking about you!”, to keep that friendship alive through thick and thin. To go out of my way to visit and ALWAYS call back when I say I would, even when I’d rather not. I highly value the relationships in my life and while it can be exhausting, and maybe even a little pushy, that’s the extrovert in me and how I’ve always been. (Not to say I don’t have good friends because I DO and you should know exactly who you are. So don’t take offense to this. You’re awesome.)
But living in community on the Race (if you want to have a “good” Race experience), you’re kind of forced to fight whether you like it or not. It’s tough and sometimes uncomfortable, awkward, and annoying, but the beauty and restoration that results makes it entirely worth it.
I’ve had 2 people on my team come to me separately in the past 24 hours who have noticed my shift and have made it very clear that they will fight for me. They will fight to pursue, to love, to pray, to encourage, and not give up on me even when I’m messy and unkept (spiritually, emotionally, and maybe even physically).
And for that, right now, I’m forever grateful for those people who will fight for me when I’m weak, point me to Jesus when I’m too tired to find the way myself, and do anything to make me smile when I really just don’t even want to look at them.
Thanks to my friends, family, and prayer warriors back home who have been fighting for me all along. Keep fighting. And I will too. I’m half way home but I’m not giving up. I want to count my blessings instead of counting down the days. This day, these days, are way too beautiful for me to let pass by.
