I entered into the training camp experience expecting to be taught some physical perseverance. I expected to gain some further understand of the logistics and planning of the trip. I expected to find out who would be in my small group (the group that we minster with in each of the countries). I even expected to be stretched in my understanding of God, who He was and who I was in Him. What I was not ready for was a revelation of the joy that God offers us as His followers.
You need to understand that until a few years ago I was convinced that joy was not for this life, at least not for me. I know that goes against a lot of scripture and the personal experiences of people I know, but the truth was that I had never experienced anything close to joy and I had resigned myself to believing that it wasn’t available. That view has shifted to joy being a possibility in the last few years, although I had no idea how to find it.
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At the beginning of training camp I decided (finally) that I would give up control to God and allow Him to do anything he chose with me and my life. The choice to give up control allowed God to fill me with joy for the first time. It is a feeling I cannot put in words, only that it is a new one for me.
I imagined that this feeling of being joyful was internal and wouldn’t really manifest itself in my life. Upon returning from training camp my wife and I led a trip to Honduras. At the end of the trip one of the participants told me how wonderful and encouraging it was to see me face each day with such joy. Never in my life have I been described as joyful. Funny, sarcastic, capable, even sometimes happy, but certainly never joyful. I had fallen blindly into what I had been searching for the last couple years. Turns out looking for it wasn’t necessary. I just needed to be obedient and give God control (easier said than done for me).
I am now more able to see others with compassionate eyes (an answer to prayer). I see myself more how God sees me (another answered prayer). My life seems more hopeful and my spirit seems lighter. Scripture has come alive in a new way. Others can see that joy in my life. I expected a lot from training camp, and received much of what I expected, but I got a lot more than I bargained for. God truly is good.
