I always had this idea in my mind that to be a missionary you had to have an experience where God strikes you in the head with a lightning bolt and you have a vision of little Asian kids working in a field and know that you are called to China. Or a stranger praying over you as a child and declaring boldly over you that will be a missionary to the nation of Zimbabwe… Well, let me just tell you now…These things have never happened to me. And for a long time I let the enemy convince me that this meant that I was not called to missions. Bogus.
God and I have been talking a lot about the idea of missions for a really long time now. The enemy had me convinced most pf my life that I was not cool enough, devoted enough, hard core enough…. blah blah blah. And after hearing about the Race that sneaky snake starting talking and I finally said ENOUGH! I chose to listen to what God had to say about me and not even listen to what I thought about myself. But I believe that God is all about the journey. So let me take you back a while to what lead me here….
I always wanted to be in the Peace Corps. Some kids want to be fire men or doctors… or whatever other prestigious careers where named on career day at school. But I wanted to be a Peace Corps volunteer and live in a hut. Weird kid I know… But my junior year in college as I found myself sitting in a Peace Corps meeting at my college campus about to turn in my application, and something just didn’t feel right. I just didn’t have… Peace (now that’s funny, no peace with the Peace Corps). [Disclaimer: Don't get me wrong, the Peace Corps is an amazing organization. I have a friend serving in Cameroon now and she is a rock star in my opinion]. At this time I had recently started living for God, even though I would say I had been a Christian since I was twelve. But I just could not commit to my childhood dream. In the years leading up to this the Lord gave me many opportunities to live in and visit other countries and in each one he would show me things that would literally rip me up. Raw sorrow. Injustice. Poverty. Disease. A deep hunger for more than just bread. I remember coming back from a trip to Costa Rica where I lived in the ghetto outside of San Jose. I was standing in front of my apartment holding my key, but I couldn’t get myself to open the door. I had returned home to my palace, where I had a month’s worth of food, luxurious bathroom and down comforter on my bed. I felt so ashamed of all I had. I went to bed that night thinking of the faces that had changed my life that were still on the streets in Costa Rica and reread old journal entries just to feel near to them.
Ultimately, this need to do something, to serve, is what led me to AmeriCorps NCCC. We compared it to the domestic Peace Corps meets Road Rules. Ten months of travel to eight different projects with a government van, small team, backpack, sleeping bag and tiny budget. I told God, if you want me to be a missionary this will let me know if I can survive on $4 a day on food, live out of a backpack for months, sleep on the floor and live with the same people 24/7. Plus, it would knock out my student loans. Nice. It was a season of learning. Serving the different communities we worked with was awesome. Sleeping in FEMA tents and on the floor of an abandoned nursing home was great. Really, I loved it. I loved the manual labor and having to do PT 3 days a week. Only one problem… because we were government funded I was not allowed to talk about Jesus. Veeerrryyyy hard for me. And through this very challenging yet very blessed time God spoke clearly to me. This was literally the conversation:
"Lord, what should I do? Where should I work after this…?"
“Do not work for food that spoils, but for food that endures to eternal life.” John 6:27
Although, I was doing wonderful work (building houses, working with disaster victims, coaching Special Olympics), without being able to share the Hope and Love that I know in the Lord, it was just good. Yes, I made a difference and served my country, but I knew that God wanted me to do Kingdom work.
The last few days of my service in this program before being sent home, I went to a church near our Iowa campus. While there, a local missionary stood up during the service and started talking about how she was getting ready for a mission trip called The World Race. “Hey, I know what that is!", my mind shouted. God planted the seed right then and there and over the next few weeks I kept running into Race alumni. Four times. The more stories I heard to more excited I became. As the coincidences added up I finally said, “Ok God, Ill apply! The rest is up to you.” The rest all happened so fast I was floored. And before I knew it I had two weeks to pray and come to a decision to accept my admission and step forward.
Towards the end of the second week this is how the Lord spoke while I was doing some worship at home looking like a fool for him lol.
“Rebecca, open your Bible.”
“Ok, God. Where am I going?”
“Just open it. You’ll see.”
Flip open and BAM, In my face… Mark 9:35-38 The Compassion of Jesus
35 Then Jesus went about all the cities and villages, teaching in their synagogues, preaching the gospel of the kingdom, and healing every sickness and every disease among the people. 36 But when He saw the multitudes, He was moved with compassion for them, because they were weary and scattered, like sheep having no shepherd. 37 Then He said to His disciples, “The harvest trulyis plentiful, but the laborersare few. 38 Therefore pray the Lord of the harvest to send out laborers into His harvest.”
How incredible it is that it was the compassion of our Lord that lead Him to turn to His disciples and ask them to pray for people to come to His Father’s work. Then that thought hit me. The disciples prayed for people to come, people like me. Me. For weeks I had been asking God, “Lord, is this for me? Are you giving this to me?” When all along He has been saying, “Rebecca, will you take this?”
I have noooooo clue what He has up His sleeves. But I trust Him. My prayer is for more of Him and less of me. That I would let Him have His way in me in this season of preparation and out in the field. To remain in His love. “Remain in me and I will remain in you…. Without me you can do nothing.” John 15
Until next time, Remain in His Love, Rebecca Rose
