The past week has been like a snapshot out of a movie that Hollywood directories would fight for and actors all over would want. The role of a Racer- the untold stories. Pure gold if you can actually believe any of it.
I heard the call to prayer blasting through my dreams and I tried pulling myself into reality without much avail. I sat up and fell back over, dazed, confused, exhausted.
Jake.
I realized he and Noah were playing the call to wake us up. Let's just say it was Not the wake up call I signed up for. I have an alarm clock, thanks men…
We haphazardly boarded the bus and somehow ended up in I-town something or other and began a crazy adventure that included hanging out in a bus stop for hours, sleeping in taxis, a ferry ride and lots of sweat. When we finally arrived to debrief we were a little hungry, a teeny tired and ready for AC.
Debrief was…fun? I'm not sure how to describe it. All I know is Jesus showed up in spectacular ways that blew my mind and crumbled my hardened heart.
I was in child's pose one morning during worship, pouring my heart out and begging God for some mental freedom. My thoughts were over powering me to the point that I couldn't even make sense of what I was actually feeling. Some call it hormones but let's just be honest. I was flat out being attacked by Satan himself and he was beating me to a pulp. The annoying thing about this, is looking back, I totally had the upper hand. I have the freaking king of kings on my side and yet I was getting bested by a rodent. A scumbag. Quite literally. My friend bent over and tapped me. He told me whatever it was, it wasn't that big of a deal and I burst into tears.
Praise Jesus!
FREEDOM REIGNS
I've been wanting some good, hearty for a few months now. It felt good to cry, to hurt, to feel. I picked my silly self up and sat in the chair. What happened next feels surreal and I'm not sure I can adequately express what went down that sunny morning on an island off the coast of Malaysia.
We've got a married couple on the Race that needed 10,000 to stay with us. Needless to say, it looked a little hopeless and we'd kinda written them off. I mean the tickets home were bought and we were throwing them a going away party that night.
All except a few soliders…
Anton challenged us. He told us there was 10k in this room full of broke missionaries and that we werent leaving til it was raised. The hairs on my arms are standing on end as I write this.
I sat there, in my pile of self pity and feelings of worthlessness and felt like God slapped me.
RISE UP WOMAN OF GOD
BOOM
A torrent of emotions flooded in and smacked me in the face to the point that I was slap happy and goofy over what He was booming to me through a giant heavenly megaphone.
This is what it's all about dude! Get the heck over yourself, Christin Ann Lyle. It's not about you, girlfriend! Look up, look out, look somewhere, anywhere besides yourself.
I watched as this empty orange box was passed around and each one of us placed our pledge in the container. Minutes passed as they calculated the total. A holy reverence fell on the place and the hushed prayers were melodious to our Maker's ears.
$12,0000 was raised in that room, that morning by those kids.
Its enough to bring me to my knees even now as I recount how freaking good, how freaking big and how freaking awesome is this God, this Creator, this Master of humankind that we serve truly is.
I dont know His plans all the time. I dont know why some things happen, but I'll tell you what, His ways, His thoughts, His words, are bigger, better and more infinitely gooder (not a word- sorry- not sorry) than anything I can comprehend. He's vaster, greater and just absolutely incredible.
We straggled into debrief, not really sure what to think. I didn't know which way was up and I felt like I was falling. But what happened on L Squad changed my life. Changed my tune, began a new work, a new song, a new harmony in the chorus of heaven. Simply put, we bonded. We bonded over loss, over awkwardness, over the good, the bad and the ugly. We lost and we loved. We fought hard for each other and we worshipped our freaking socks off. I have never seen Jesus sit on a place the way He did that weekend. Those few days changed my mindset and shifted my paradigm.
So I'll rejoice, again, I say, I'll rejoice. There's not much we haven't seen or experienced the last few months but at the end of the day, it doesn't matter what's happened to us. It's ok to be little hot messes of Jesus freaks running around and trying to spread this thing called Kingdom. He loves it. He loves the puddy and muddy because that is when He is able to mold and shape us into His likeness. All He wants is hearts that want more. That desire of something greater than living for ourselves.
All that matters is that we rejoice. We see His goodness because there is a song of thankfulness on our lips and we call out to the King of Kings, The Lord of Lords, The Great I Am.
Why?
Because He's good, He's God and He shows up.
In our weakness, He is strong. When we are nothing, He rocks it out. When there is nothing to sing about, there is everything to sing about. It's like the biggest irony that makes no sense and yet He works it all out for His glory. For His honor, His praise, His Goodness.
Jesus. Wow. You're indescribable.
