For the first week of our time in Kenya, our squad leader Alyssa poured into our team and spent time with us. She led team time for us a few nights. One of the nights she posed the question, “Why did you choose to come on the race, but more importantly, why are you still here?” She asked us to think about it and said we would talk about it the next day.
I had chosen to come on the race for a plethora of reasons, some good and some, honestly, selfish. I felt that God wanted to use me to bring hope to the nations. I also felt like it would be a really great adventure, not to mention a really great opportunity to work on my photography skills. As this journey has continued, my selfish ambitions for the race have slowly been weeded away, and in return God has grown my need for him.
As I really thought about why I am still here, though, I started to struggle. It’s month eight. I’m really tired. Every month, for the most part, has been sweaty and uncomfortable. I miss my mom. I miss working at The Breakers and going to church with my friends. Africa has also been very difficult for me. For some reason, my sinuses have really been acting up. I don’t have any allergies at home, but Africa is a whole different story. I don’t remember the last time I felt 100% healthy while here in Africa. It’s frustrating mostly because I’m asked to go pray for sick people in the hospital when I’m not even feeling healthy. So, when asked the question about why I’m still here, my first response was, “I really have no idea.”
As I thought about it more though, I realized that ever since the beginning of the race I’ve felt that God kept telling me, “This is just the beginning.” Though it doesn’t feel like the beginning anymore, I still feel like God wants me to push on. It’s like he’s saying, “You’ve come so far, but I still have more.” And if God has more for me, that’s enough. That’s all I need. Just a word from him and promise from his Word and I know I’m right where I’m supposed to be.
So even though this is difficult, I can choose in. And I know that somehow, that makes God smile.
Ministry this month has already proven that God has a place for me here, and that I’m right where I’m supposed to be right now. We have been doing door to door ministry while in Kenya. At training camp, I remember being told about door to door in Africa and it scared me. But, I have really grown to love it. I love to talk about my Savior! That’s the reason why I’m here. God has used me so many times to share his word or the gospel or even my testimony to change lives. I told a group of 10 ladies about the hope that God offers them and four of them prayed to receive Christ. I told two men about how I chose the ways of the world over God in the past. I explained to them how God has since redeemed that and offered me something so much better. Both of those men asked to receive Christ. There are so many more stories that I could share about lives being changed. Every day we go out to evangelize, God has someone already chosen for me to talk to, and if I weren’t here, who would do it?
Kenya has been difficult for so many reasons, but this is the place God has for me and this is the race God has set out for me to run. Why would I do anything but choose in?
