What if I come home?
There is a question that has been on my mind a lot lately. To be honest sometimes it distracts me from ministry. Sometimes I cry about it out of frustration, vent about it to a team mate, or ask GOD why? I'll just cut to the chase and be honest with you all
There is a possibility I might come home very soon…
And its probably not for the reason you think. I am not terribly homesick, or injured. I am not struggling so much that I need to come home, and I'm not tired of the sacrifice. The truth is financially I don't have the money to stay here.
I just don't have it…
I have tried dozens of things. Fundraisers, Facebook statuses, emails, blogs, one on one talks and support letters. And PRAISE GOD all of that has gotten me here. I have seen GOD work absolute miracles on my behalf financially and it has been beautiful, but i still have not met my goal. I raised $6,500 to get on the race, and since being on the field that has gone up $500. To stay on the race there are deadlines you have to meet along the way and the next one is October.
Yes as in next month October.
And by October I have to be at $11,000
And then by january $15,500
So if you do the math that is $4,000 in one month to raise.
And then another $4,500 a few months after that.
The problem is I am not at home to do the usual support raising so being on the field I feel helpless. And it sucks. There is a feeling of sadness that hits me when I hear my teammates say they are fully funded, or close. I rejoice for them because I believe that each one of them is right where they belong on this trip doing GODs work, but it is a reality check that I myself am so far away from being fully funded, and there is a fear that I won't be. When I think of long term missions projects the aspect of support raising scares me so much that I wonder how I would accept the call.
And to be honest I am tired of asking people for money. If I can be blunt. It is hands down the most challenging thing I have had to do ministry wise. I wonder sometimes why won't GOD just send a rich person to sow into this trip. If I could I would have worked really hard and saved up to pay for it myself, but GOD convicted my heart and reminded me that in doing that I would block the blessing others would receive from sowing into this trip.
Mark 10:29
…and I assure you that everyone who has given up house or brothers or sisters or mother or father or children or property for my sake and for the good news 30 will receive now in return a hundred times as many houses, bothers, sister ect…
The word of GOD is true,and i believe that any person who has sacrificed anything for the sake of the Gospel shall receive it 100 fold. I believe we would take this scripture more seriously if we could always see the literal manifestation of the 100 fold immediately, but usually we don't. It takes someone rooted and grounded in GODs word to believe that their sacrifice for the Gospel will be rewarded! And it shall!
I also honestly believe this journey has way less to do with me, and way more to do with the things GOD wants to manifest in the earth in this generation. He just happened to ask me to be a part of it, so know that every dime you donate, and every prayer you send up makes you an active participant in the Harvest, and in going to the Nations for Christ!
But now It comes down to the simple fact that if there is not a miracle move on my behalf financially soon I'll be home, and that would suck. I hands down believe I too am exactly where GOD has called me to be! And if i were to go home that is one less person on the missions field spreading the gospel, one less person on team salt and light, one less member of F squad, one less person to pray over the children here at the orphanage, and one less person to serve these people for the Glory of the LORD.
It's just that simple.
October is my deadline.
3 John 1:8 so we ourselves should support them so that we can be their partners as they teach the truth.
P.s. thank you to those who have worked tirelessly to get me here, and keep me here. I could NEVER have done it by myself, your selfless giving and acts of love have forever touched my heart! May the LORD richly bless you
