November 23, 2010
LORD, I just woke up from an interesting dream. I was in a building, playing basketball with a little indian boy. He looked about 10 years old. After we got done playing basketball I asked what his name was, he replied and said Pradesh, as in Andhra Pradesh. I have no clue what that means, ill have to look it up.
November 24, 2010
…I looked up the word Pradesh today, and Andhra Pradesh came up. Its a state in India. Thats crazy LORD because the little boy i was playing basketball with was Indian. Maybe ill go there some day?
These are 2 excerpts taken from my journal almost 2 years ago. So it was no surprise to me when we found out we were going to be in Andhra Pradesh doing ministry while in India, it was divine for me.
Now that I am looking back on the month I see the way GOD perfectly orchestrated every situation I found myself in. One thing that He placed on my heart was to tell someone's story in every country we go to. To be His mouth in the midst of being His hands and feet, so that someone's story could reach another nation, someone who matters to GOD just as much as you and I could have the opportunity to have people all over praying for them. This is the story of Andrew…
It was my second day at the orphanage, and my team and i had just eaten lunch, when i noticed there were a group of kids there i hadn't really noticed before. They were fully of life, running around and laughing, unlike most of the kids we had worked with the previous day who were immobile from cerebral palsy, and things like that. They were the lucky few who go to go to school. The ones whose situations still allowed for them to run, and jump and play.
I noticed a small boy in the corner. He was adorable! Sitting there alone, with his legs crossed, and a serious look on his face. I went over and scooped him up, he just stared at me, silently. I examined his body, and i noticed his little belly protruded out much further than his tiny frame, a sign of malnutrition before he arrived at the orphanage. I asked around and found out that his name was andrew. Although andrew is only 4, he has the countenance of an old man. He is quite, and even wise for his age. But he does do the typical things a 4 year old would do like cry when he doesnt get his way, and laugh at absolutely the smallest things. He once convinced me to give him 6 cookies (im a sucker I know). I was extremely drawn to him all month, and i would rarely tell him no.
Andrew was born in India missing a part of His body that most people function with normally every day. Because of this his parents decided that he would never grow up and get married or do the normal things that people do. He was unfortunately discarded like so many other children that Sarah's Covenant homes take in and care for. That is pretty much all that I know about his past. Its crazy that most of us take for granted the fact that stories from our childhood are passed down, or that there are pictures from our birth. For most of these kids there is none of that, and you just have a rough guess of their age because of a lack of birth records. I was told however when Andrew was learning to walk he would practice for Pringles. I held this small story close to my heart, it made me feel like I had a piece of his past.
But now he is a little older, and he is beginning to recognize things, and the way the world works. There were days that I would silently pray over him, recognizing his need for a father, a male figure to guide him, and to protect him, and then coming to the realization that for him, and so many others that may never be a possibility. It's a sad reality, yet I know that is where GOD has to step in, and my trust for him. The truth is that it is physically impossible to make a difference in every single child's life, yet if GOD can use you to make a difference in ones life you have changed the world, and truly built kingdom. There were days he would beg me to take him to the roof, and we would just sit up there silently looking at the view. I could tell he enjoyed that so much, and I am glad that even for that small season I could be used to bring him joy of some sort.
The day I had to leave him I cried. I had told myself that I was over it, and not as heavily affected, but I was. That day he wanted me to pick him up, and hold him. When the time came for us to leave I put him down, and he cried. It broke my heart. Not because I don't believe he won't ever have love, I know for a fact that GOD will continually bring people into his life to love on him, but because in that moment I wanted to give him something more, to truly make an impact, and I felt like I hadn't, and to be honesty I am not quite reconciled with that. We loved them so much that we went back after our month was finished, which resulted in a second goodbye.
I struggled with going back, after how hard the first goodbye was, but I felt the LORD tell me that I should so I did. We went back and I found him asleep on the floor. The other kids explained to me that he was sick with a fever and had just taken medicine. I picked him up, and held him, prayed over him, and tried my best to comfort him. I understood then why GOD told me to back. It was not for Andrew but for me. There was something very selfish that wanted to protect my heart, but I realize that love is a choice, and it's not always, if ever, easy. Love is selfless, and I needed to sacrifice all last month with Andrew and other kids at SCH to see just the tiniest glimpse of how GOD goes above and beyond with me. That day our goodbye was different. He didn't cry, he just sat at the gate and stared at me as I left, as if he knew I would never be back, and had just accepted it.
There is something about working with children without conventional families that makes you want to take them home, and love on them forever. To be honest if I was married I would have seriously considered it. But for now I must be content with the small season GOD gave me the privilege of being in his life, and remember to do what I can, when I can to help those JESUS calls me to help, and to always LOVE!
India was a challenge. Everyday I struggled to comprehend the lessons I was being taught in being uncomfortable, sacrifice, spiritual warfare and many other areas. But I realize that GOD is way more concerned with my character than my comfort, and my love has to go to a new level. I was stretched, and worked, yet I built spiritual muscle that makes me stronger to run my race with more endurance.
I'm learning…
On another note if you would like to make a difference in the life of a child PLEASE consider sponsoring one from Sarah's Covenant Homes in Andhra pradesh. And please keep Andrew in your prayers, I believe GOD has beautiful plans and a purpose for his life. He spared him and so many other children, He will use them!
And if you would like to help me stay on the missions field you can donate by clicking on the left side of the page where it says support me. I still have about $8,000 left to raise, but GOD has been crazy faithful, and He will continue to be!
