Let me repent right quick

The 75 hour travel day(s) hit me in all the wrong ways and so did Kiev, Ukraine.  The smothering feeling of the enemy surrounded us like heat on a summer day.  I'm pretty sure I've never felt satan so tangible in my life..the impression was an intense one that left me indifferent about how the month was going to be.  The final stretch that began with planes, buses, an overnight train, ended with a simple car ride into the L'viv countryside of Ukraine.  I was completely oblivious to how blessed I was due to exhaustion, but oh my word am I blessed.  I could go on for DAYS AND DAYS about this house, but that really isn't what is blowing my mind.  The family.  God, you out did yourself once again.  Mark, Rhonda, Bria, Lindsay, and Krista Blessing (yes, their last name is Blessing) you mean so much to me already and I honest to God get choked up just typing this.  I want to go on for days typing about your family, but I don't want to come off as a creep and for the fact I'll start crying like a buffoon.  I remember 8 days into this trip telling the girls that the family just didn't get to me the way that Ireland did and that I felt some kind of distance of sorts.  I knew it was from myself as well due to the fact of working with two teams and there only being 5 of you.  I never wanted to get "in the way" and I'm a firm believer of thinking that if someone wants to get to know me then they'll come to me rather than me annoy and bombard them.  God must of heard me and had it out for me because the next day I was placed painting for 4 days and so did one of the sisters.  I feel bad that she was stuck with me in a sense, but I honestly am so blessed that I got to get to know her and visa versa.  God knew that I had a wall up..He knew from the get go because of Ireland and He chiseled down my wall with her.  With that, I began to invest more into the family and thank you God (even though I'm upset)..thank you for making me invest.  From working with the babushkas, English club, worshiping downtown, worshiping until 2am at home, painting the ministry home, evangelism, doing the spa for the women, and all the little things inbetween..I'm going to miss everything which is insane to think or even say out loud considering how I felt about Ukraine.  What is hilarious is the lack or pretty much no communication with people and learning all the ways around it.  It doesn't matter where we are from, age, language, or anything..God has His finger on us.  
Like I said in the beginning, it's safe to say now that I'm really pissed off.  I honestly am so confused and conflicted about the rest of my year due to the fact that I cannot keep crying over people every month like this.  The old ladies who I have NEVER even had a REAL conversation with love on me, I notice smiles instead of stares now, this family welcomed us..God, I really don't know what you're doing to me.  Am I going to just continue pouring out and that's it?  Never seeing people after this month, because what are those stories people always say, "sometimes God gives you a person for just one moment in time."  I don't want them for just "one moment" and I don't think it's selfish of me to ask.  

Ireland, you certainly met your match and I'm not sad about that.