The first part of this month we worked with a man so crazy
about Jesus I for a moment questioned my own salvation. . . I was not living my
life as radical as this man was on his ‘off’ day. The Lord knew the heart that
team .Apex developed for this man and blessed us by sending us to his very own
brother. We boarded a train, and headed out to Ipoh, Malaysia.
Momentarily we wondered if the term brother was referring to
‘brother in Christ’, but as we met him, mannerisms soon revealed they were in
deed blood related. Pastor David (the brother), led me again to
question-Brittani, Are you really sacrificially living for Christ?
Living in the west, I’ve grown up working for that “American
Dream”; a good education, a decent job, a husband and beautiful little
children; you know all the indicators of success.
As I’ve really started to dream, the dreams I see now make this one feel as
though I’d be settling.
I dream of orphanages ceasing to exist because we as
believers, as Christ followers realize that we are ‘commanded’ to adopt, not
simply asked to consider it.
That we leave the lives that are comfortable
and Go into the nations spreading the word of Christ, because we are
‘commanded’ to, not asked.
I have re-established what ‘hard work’ looks like and these
two men have aided in that. This sacrificial living runs in the family. Each
sibling has established their own ministry all throughout Malaysia. I was able
to meet their sister, and nephews, and cousin’s . . . each person pulling their
own weight and changing lives right where they are.
I met Pastor David’s children and the faith that his 13 year
old son owns, caused my jaw to drop innumerable times throughout the week. I
was embracing the ‘hot boy bands’ at thirteen, not fasting the 40 days of lint.
These people not only give with all they have as far as
tangible things go, but they give with all of themselves physically too. I’ve
never in my life had to rely on the strength of God as much as I had to this
month. The physical deterioration of my body was weighing me down daily, but
the Joy of the Lord was my strength. . . Truly.
How often do you reach this point? Physical, mental,
emotional exhaustion for and from serving Christ?
It’s unreal.
I dream that I will settle for nothing less that exactly
that.
Pure exhaustion, in order that I may solely rely on His
strength . . . each and every day. .
Passion that exceeds my comprehension, giving beyond my means, because I’ll
give according to Christ’s means. . . Loving unconditionally, the way He’s
loved me.
These are my dreams.
