This is our last full day with our contacts in Greystones. Tomorrow we head to Dublin for the beginning of the Awakening which is basically a praise and worship conference that AIM puts on for World Racers who are in the field as well as alumni to come together for a few days. After that we have debrief for a few days which is when our squad comes together with our coaches and basic downloads our experiences over the last few months. Then we our off to Kenya!
This month we have had the opportunity to work with Jim and Kathy who have shown us much of Ireland through different outreach ministries. We have also been doing a good bit of work on a back building, getting it cleaned and fixed up so that future World Racers can stay and particiapate more in the local outreaches.
Also this month our two teams have taken the opportunity to do a few nights of all night prayer. The experience is a new one to me, to say the least. I admit, going into each night I haven’t been exactly excited at the prospect of losing multiple hours of sleep. More time with God is always a good thing, but to be honest I never feel like I have enough to say to fill the hours. Like everyone else, I’m hoping to gain a deeper relationship with the Lord. More than anything I want to hear what He is telling me so that I can fullfill His purpose in my life. I have had trouble hearing what the Lord speak in my life over the years. I can point to a handful of times I truly believe the Lord has clearly directed me on a path, this trip being one of those times. But to say that I feel God’s presence in my life everday, well I can’t honestly say that. I wish to be able to, and hopefully in time I will.
So that’s where I’ve been at leading up to our all night prayers. Well once the first night had ended and our team came together for our last hour something did happen. Now I honestly don’t know if I had nodded off into the world of crazy Tom dreams or if the Lord truly spoke to me. About half way into our team prayer and was more or less zoned out, but listening to my teammates pray out loud. Then at one point I felt a rather random cold chill and then felt as if I had started to fall asleep (I don’t generally get cold chills that put me to sleep, they usually snap me awake, maybe this is the same for others, maybe not). So I feel as if I’ve hit that level of semi consciousness when you hear things going on around you, but you’re not completely aware of it all. In this state I start to have a dream, forgive me if my descriptions fall short, I’m not the most articulate, but I see this black writing appear on a gray wall, the writing at first is in another language so I have no idea what it says, then the lettering is transformed as if by a fog or a breeze blowing the clouds and then I can read the words, at least some of them. I only had a moment to read the words and I wasn’t able to read them all but what I was able to make out was the part of the second line of words that said “time immeasurable” As soon as I started to see the message I snapped awake. I really don’t know if this was a sleep deprived hallucination, just a random dream, or something more. It definately didn’t feel like a normal dream. I told my team about it later that night, and they feel that it was God speaking to me. I can’t tell you how desperately I want to believe this, but I find myself frustrated. I have been praying for some sort of confirmation that this was a message, that there is some clarification about what the message was meant to say (since I only saw a small portion of it). Initially I was excited, I was hoping this was a catalyst for further experiences. Now I just feel confused. Was my mind merely playing tricks on me? If the Lord has a message for me, why don’t I understand what I’m to do with that message or even its meaining? And if it is a message, why no confirmation? I know I need to be patient, the Lord may confirm it if He chooses in the way that He chooses, but if it’s nothing more than I dream I’ll have wasted all this energy and frustration on nothing. So please, pray that the Lord will show me confirmation, or at least ease my mind enough that I don’t let this experience trouble or distract me from what I need to do.
So that’s where I’ll leave ya. As always, thank you so much for your prayers and support. We hope this message finds you well!
God Bless!
