Nutshell (Training Camp 2009)

There I was, on my knees, face planted on the ground in the middle of some Georgia woods –

weeping and snotting all over myself. 

 

This was not the return to the World Race I had expected.

 

Let me back up just a little bit.

 

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This past October 16th through the 25th I found myself back in Gainesville, Georgia

with 120 other radicals at Training Camp for the January 2010 World Race.

 

At first, it was great. All the newness and excitement, plus being able to see past teammates

from the January 2008 Race.

 

Then the feeling in my heart of, ‘What am I doing here?’ hit.

Along with frustrations of how this year after the Race has gone for me.

And frustrations with how some relationships from my past Race have turned out this year.

 

I didn’t expect any of this, especially the two frustrations, which I thought I had made peace with. 

 

This led to me being a lot more quiet and withdrawn then I normally am.

Which then made it look like I didn’t want to be there and didn’t want to lead either. 

 

In the midst of all this, I was challenged by leadership in relation to my behavior and attitude. This left

me hurt, defensive and confused. Because I couldn’t even figure out what was going on with me. 

And I didn’t want any part of falling into the trap of performance or trying to look a certain way!

 

The next two days, I tried praying, worshiping and even journaling this burden out but nothing worked! 

 

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Fast Forward – Leaving a night worship service out in the
woods –I start feeling major rumbly tumbly! And keep in mind – its about 30 or
so degrees out and we have a hole to poop in. Not a good time to be sick!

 

I
walk back to the camp fire and a girl (Chelsea O’Neal) from the
squad is sharing about how she has learned she is a healer. And so I’m like,
“Sweet! Come pray for me!”

 

About a minute into to prayer, this girl (who is new to the
Spirit) stops and says,

 

“This isn’t about your stomach at all. It’s really
about this, this , this, etc……”

 

And then goes onto to exactly pin point
everything that is in my heart and soul in ways that I haven’t even put
together yet. I was blown away!

I’m looking at her like, “Don’t you know this
is what I do people? Not the reverse!” 

 

 At the end, she encourages me get off alone with God.

 

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So, there I am, in the middle of the woods in Georgia, weeping uncontrollably for 30 minutes. Sparse prayer or words coming out – mainly tears.

 

I had taken on the burden of all the big prophetic words
spoken over me and my future by God and others. I was carrying it and trying to
make it happen.

 

I repented and released it over to my Dad in tears.

And He kept
reminding me, “Just you and Me Nate. Just you and Me. Don’t worry about
anything else.”

 

He spoke other words over me as I rolled onto my back and
let His peace roll over me.

 

The next day I sacrificed it at the cross walk and
grieved last year.

I became a new man. And felt released to enter my new family. I am a team leader and
they are amazing. (More about them on my next blog!!!!)

 

 

 The Whole Squad!!!! (More on my small team – Next Blog)

 

 

 

 *Prayer Requests*

 

– Protection and guidance in walking in my new freedom!

– A prep of my heart to see my new teammates like He does.

– Finish my 6 weeks in Colorado well relationally.

 

Also, I am currently at 1,800 in support. If you would like to Support Me – Click Here.