How do you recognize the presence of the hand of God? How do you know when He is working to create a masterpiece in your life? Do the flaws add to the beauty or detract from the finished product? In a recent conversation with a friend, I heard her say that God is not cruel and does not work in our lives in cruel ways. This is true. However, I also see that she sometimes mistakenly identifies difficult, transformative circumstances as cruelty. As much as I would like to tell you that God doesn’t use “cruel” looking circumstances to shape us for our greater good, I would be lying to you. Only by going through them, do we have an opportunity to separate truth from lies.
Right now, I am laying in a Romanian hospital bed for the twelfth straight day. A couple of Sundays ago, I was in a car wreck and was thrown from a vehicle on my way to church with my World Race team. For crying out loud, I am a missionary! I have committed this year of my life to traveling the world to love and help people as Jesus does and to introduce them to Him. Of any year of my life, this should not have been the year I have to go through a situation like this. And still, it happened. And much of the aftermath looks cruel.
On the flipside, I can list for you at least twenty different miracles that have happened in the last twelve days. The first miracle is that I survived this wreck at all. Another is that I have an opportunity for a full recovery. This situation has really proven to me how much God has changed my heart over the past few years. I have spent a lot of time and effort allowing God to help me walk in truth instead of my emotions. (FYI….the only way to really learn to do this is by going through rocky situations, with eyes wide open, and allowing God to not only reveal His truth, but to teach me to use it, be comforted by it and be engulfed in it to the deepest core of my being. I would love to tell you it’s easier than all that, but I can’t lie to you.) So now, I find myself where the rubber meets the road. Do my faith, understanding of God and my reality line up? I am finding out that they do, but I would never completely know without a situation like this one. For me, it is worth going through this to know who God really is. I have given Him my entire life and I want to make that decision based on truth and not theory.
For those of you who ask “Where was God during that Sunday morning drive?,” I can assure you, He was active there. I know that part of the friction in questions like these is caused by the fallenness of the world we live in. Things are out of whack. It’s as much a natural law as gravity. I don’t know why He allowed this to happen, but I know He stopped the van from rolling over me and killing me with only four feet to spare. I know the peace permeating each moment of that day was both tangible and supernatural. I knew that my shoulder was dislocated when I regained consciousness on the cold, muddy ground that morning and that it was back in place by the time I arrived at the ER in Oradea; although none of the paramedics had touched it. I know the muscles in my leg were torn when we left the field and they were reconnected by the time I reached the ER. I know x-rays revealed my collar bone was broken and needed surgery to be repaired on the day of the crash . Scans taken on my fourth day in the hospital showed no signs of a break or fracture. I don’t even need a brace. Some of my injuries are as severe as brain injury or spinal cord trauma. People don’t just bounce back from them like nothing happened. Still, the reality is that God is restoring my body like new every single day. I can’t explain it, but I am a living, walking miracle. I don’t have to exaggerate what’s happened; the facts are more than compelling on their own.
Considering God cruel is an oxymoron. His love and mercy are all that separate us from misery each day of our lives. I’m not rationalizing here, I’m speaking truth. If you let truth work in you, it will set you free. And freedom is always worth the journey.
Thanks for all your love, prayers and support as I walk through this present uncertainty. Keep praying for complete restoration in my body and peace in my heart and mind. All glory goes to
God for his truth and redemption.
**I am still $5,500 from being fully funded for the rest of the Race. If you want to help me finish what God has started here, please message me and pledge your support. I will know soon if I am physically able to finish the World Race.
