A few weeks ago I made an appointment with the doctor to investigate a little further into the clear discontentment of my digestive track. It definately wasn't anything life threatening, but I figured that if I had a problem now, it really wasn't going to be happy as we travelled around the world trying new foods and probably eating in less-than-sanitary conditions.
When I hopped up on the examining table, my doctor began the usual by listening to my heart… and she kept listening to my heart… and listened a little longer. "Oh yeah," I said, "I have a heart murmor, I had it checked a few years back, not a big deal." Although she did not know what my past echocardiogram looked like, she stated that I should have it checked again to compare the results as it sounded pretty loud. I had also been experiencing some funky rhythms the previous weeks, and mentioned that to her as well.
In my mind, I had already begun the what if game… it had been four years since I had any problems with my heart and in the midst of my last few weeks on campus, and student teaching, and the World Race, I was not ready to deal with this. Honestly, I felt like I was faulty, not good enough, or must have done something to deserve poor health.
The next morning I woke up, kind of in a daze to a phone call from the nurse at the hospital. She wanted to tell me that they had forgotten to tell me the results from my blood draw. "Everything looks good, except… " she paused, enough for my mind to begin racing, "your TSH, or Thyroid Stimulating Hormone levels are a bit high. Usually they should be between .3-3.7… and yours is a 26". And what is that supposed to mean, I thought to myself. The only thing I could remember about the thyroid was giving our dog a pill daily in some butter when I was a little kid. "The doctor would like you to have an ultrasound of your thyroid and start taking medications daily."
When someone tells you that two very important organs in your body are not functioning properly, I will admit, it is a pretty unsettling feeling. I've never had to pray for healing before, but this was something that was completely out of my control and my only hope is God's peace and comfort and healing. I looked in the bible for encouragement, and I particularly felt drawn to this truth from Acts:
12 The apostles (that's us!) performed many signs and wonders among the people. And all the believers used to meet together in Solomon’s Colonnade. 13 No one else dared join them, even though they were highly regarded by the people. 14 Nevertheless, more and more men and women believed in the Lord and were added to their number. 15 As a result, people brought the sick into the streets and laid them on beds and mats so that at least Peter’s shadow might fall on some of them as he passed by. 16 Crowds gathered also from the towns around Jerusalem, bringing their sick and those tormented by impure spirits, and all of them were healed.
I began to think to myself, I am so unworthy of healing, but I want to see it so badly, not for my sake, but for the sake of my faith! I know how hard it is to believe in a day and age where gratification in instant, medicine cures all… What an incredible testimony it would be not only to those on my squad if I were healed, but to those around the world who need healing…
So every day I prayed, growing closer to God. I asked others to pray. Let me tell you, I have experienced a peace about all of this that I can't even explain. I've been able to share my "story in the making" with people who have been so encouraging and have shared areas in their life they need healing in. Through it all, I've just kept thinking to myself that no matter what, To God be the Glory.
This last week has been incredibly hard. After the first ultasound that I had done, the radiologist suggested that I have a radioactive iodine uptake test. It would show if there were any 'hotspots' or potential areas for cancer. I had to go off of the thyroid medication that was helping a ton in order to have the test done… and I've really felt it. I also had my echocardiogram done this week on Tuesday.
I am so incredibly blessed to be able to say that all of my test results came back incredibly good. My heart shows no difference from 2007 and that it's stable, and even my thyroid showed normal test results. I will have to take thyroid medication from now on, but hey, that's the least of my worries! And who knows… God may continue his healing work in me as he's promised. Most importantly, my doctor says I'm OK to travel for the World Race 🙂 It has been very hard putting our plans 'on hold' for the time being, as we were not sure what the results of the tests would show.
God is so good. He's healed me so much over the past several weeks in ways I could have never imagined. I've not only experienced physical healing, but spiritual healing. God is pretty awesome like that. He knows exactly where we're at. When we give Him our hearts, he will mend them with his love and grace and patience. He will also use all circumstances to his glory and bring us back to the foot of the cross when we've strayed or lost control.
Thank you to my mom for her constant prayers, to my good friend Christina who taught me to be an advocate for myself, to all my prayer warriors, to my incredibly patient and loving husband, and to my rock, my Christ, my Lord, and Savior – to God be the glory!
