Hello to All!!
We are fast approaching our last month here on the race. As a matter of fact our bus will be here in a few hours around 5am. Right now it’s a little after 2am here in San Salvador, El Salvador and much has been on my mind and heart lately. When I go to bed, I find that in my heart there are lots of questions, lots of ideas, and lots of concerns. I’m not overwhelmed by them, they are just there.
To name only a few, it seems that a day doesn’t pass where I don’t think about the experiences God has blessed me to have and to thank Him for them. A day doesn’t pass where I don’t think about my family (not only my biological family, but my family at ECF). And lately the days have not passed without me thinking about how God knew the day I was born He would put me in a place like this at a time like this. 
The Word of God says, “The plans of the Lord stand firm forever; the purposes of His heart throughout all generations.” I try to wrap my mind around it…the generations past…and it’s hard. A couple of days ago, as I was thinking on the Lord, I began the futile effort of trying to imagine what heaven is like…and even more, I began trying to imagine what “ETERNITY” was like. I’m not sure how long I sat there pondering on these things. I finally snapped out of my day dreaming and thought to myself…”Traday, the most beautiful thing you can imagine won’t almost or remotely compare to the glory of the Kingdom of God.”
Take, for example, this picture to the left here. I was fascinated with it. I had never seen such a sight. We were coming down from the volcano in El Salvador and I was taken by these clouds in the sky. I had to have a picture of such a sight!! I was fascinated at how God in this dark world gave me something so awesome to behold.
As I thought about eternity and the Kingdom of God, the reality of being in the presence of a King, a God, an all powerful, all knowing righteous KING brought to my mind and heart how much I NEED God. I need His mercy, I need His forgiveness, I need His love, I need HIM. I began thinking about how He is a just and fair God and because He is fair, when He judges, we have no room for argument…which led me back to examining my life. Yes, I am forgiven, yes, I am saved, yes, I believe that Jesus is the Son of God and that He came and died for all humanity because of the sins of the world, yet at the same time I question if I am REALLY being who He created me to be. No doubt that I am saved, but am I walking in fear rather than faith? Am I living for Him only SOMEtimes? Really, am I selfishly wanting to see in this thing we call Christianity “what’s in it for me?” Amazing how we go in and out of these phases of how we label ourselves on where we stand in our confidence in God…the mountain vs the valley, being on fire and being ice cold, be sure and having questions.
As for me, I haven’t arrived…I’m still in the earth…I’m still learning…I’m still getting to know God, I’m still getting to know His Holy Spirit and how to live life in communion with the Holy Spirit. When I fall, I get back up. I have to. It’s a learning process. It’s a humbling process.
This is a big world that God has created with all kinds of people. All kinds of people who have all kinds of needs who serve all kinds of gods who are given all kinds of answers except the one and true ANSWER. I pray that your life and my life will always be an example of faith, and example of love, an example of forgiveness, an example of obediance, an example of a son and daughter of the KING. Enjoy it! Have fun with it! Get with God. He is not far from you. He is not unaware. He is not powerless to help you or to save.
Enjoy the Journey!!
