Towards the end of February, I was sitting at a picnic table at Nisela Safaris down in Nsoko just thinking and praying about what my next steps would be once Gary and Lisa Black and their family were back in the United States. One of my purposes in coming to Swaziland was to serve and be a part of their family.
As it was most of the time in Nsoko, it was very hot, sweat was continually pouring and the wind wasn’t blowing…or so I thought. I looked up at the trees and noticed the very tops of them were barely swaying and I was wishing that I could feel this small breeze. From there I looked up into the sky and noticed this lone bird. It was flying as hard as it could, but it was getting nowhere. For a few moments I watched this bird and it wasn’t long before it decided to change directions and fly in the flow of the wind. A few moments later I looked back up to see this bird back in the air flapping its wings as hard as it could and yet remaining stationary. It managed after so long to get a little further than it was, but again turned around and sailed with the wind back to the ground. A third time this bird was back in the air and a third time it turned and sailed with the wind. It could get nowhere. The bird was too small, it wasn’t strong enough to fly against the wind, and there was too much sky to cover.
I thought to myself, this is a perfect picture of life…and at this time, possibly my life. In this situation concerning my next steps, this opportunity that I could have mistaken for a problem, it was like the Lord was using this illustration to say, “Go where My Wind blows.” And in this case the wind was His Holy Spirit. As I was sitting there I was thinking about how I wanted so desperately to be where God wanted me to be, to be doing what He wanted me to be doing, to be going where He wanted me to be going, etc. The flesh and emotions in me, that I’m sometimes prone to, wanted to get worried, wanted to fret, wanted to find reasons why this whole trip to Africa might have been a mistake. But the Spirit of God in me was saying, “The Lord brought You here and He’ll take you where He wants you.” I chose to believe the latter and instead of believing that this was a problem or mistake, I chose to believe that God was in full control, He was not worried, so why should I.
So I said, “Lord, I know You brought me here. There is no doubt in my mind or heart about it. You know the situation at hand and I am going to trust You to take me where You want me to be…whether it’s back to the States or whether it’s to remain here…whatever, Lord. I cannot worry about this, so I give this to You and I thank You that You are in control.” And I left it at this. Sure, there were many decisions to be made as to what path I would take. Like this picture at the top, which road was I going to take?…this was the question that I constantly had asked God, that people were constantly asking me…it was all still a mystery.
