So the past several weeks have been long. Hard. Challenging.

Barren places of my heart have been revealed. Places where there was once doubt but where the goodness of the Lord met that doubt and consumed it with all powerful, truth encompassing love. Places that I did not see, but Jesus saw. Places where discipline needed to be had. Places of transformation.

For these once barren rooms of my heart I am truly thankful. They are places that now hold more of Jesus and less of me. For all of the barren places within me, especially the places I don’t know of-I am thankful for Holy Spirit and how He loves me so, to take those places and make rivers out of wastelands. Jesus, continue filling.

“My son, do not despise the Lord’s discipline,
 and do not resent his rebuke, because the Lord disciplines those he loves,
  as a father the son he delights in.” (Proverbs 3:11-12)

The Lord has been growing me in openness with all of my weakness. Through this, He is teaching me how He is truly able to shine. I have had many mornings where I wake up feeling met with the embrace of His arms. Where I feel as if His grace kisses me before I have any time to feel the brokenness.

“Out of his fullness we have all received grace in place of grace already given.” (John 1:16)

Isn’t that the beauty of grace? Despite our flaws, we receive favor. Despite our weakness, we receive strength. Despite ourselves, we receive Jesus.

For these once barren feelings of emptiness, I am truly thankful. They now hold stronger to the promises of Jesus. (Ephesians 3:14-19; “That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.” 2 Corinthians 12:10)

I work in a Kindergarten classroom in this season of life and amidst the challenges of the class I have had, I have seen immense growth in their hearts. I have had conversations about Jesus with them. I have shared life with staff members. The Lord has been good. I have seen Jesus take hold of this school. I have cried. I have prayed. I have lived. And His goodness has been the breath of it all.

“For the LORD is good and his love endures forever; his faithfulness continues through all generations.” (Psalm 100:5)

Hours have been long at work, my heart has been wrestling. My family has been being molded and refined right alongside me. Shifts have been happening.

For these times of barren wilderness wandering, I am truly thankful. My bright and morning star has never led me astray. He has been the manna to my soul, amidst the enemies attacks. “No, I will not abandon you as orphans–I will come to you.”(John 14:18)

These have (also) been the most beautiful, stretching, and refining of weeks. Funny how when we are being grown we experience the hard things first and throughout. How the Lord knows the ways in which we must be refined so we may see the beauty of His fullness.

“These trials will show that your faith is genuine. It is being tested as fire tests and purifies gold–though your faith is far more precious than mere gold. So when your faith remains strong through many trials, it will bring you much praise and glory and honor on the day when Jesus Christ is revealed to the whole world.” (1 Peter 1:7)

You see, the “hard things” have been revealed to be the most beautiful things as of late. Opportunities to see how good God’s goodness is! God’s goodness is like that. He takes the hard times in life, the reshuffling of the furniture of our hearts and allows us to grow in thankfulness. To literally see all things as JOY! “You make known to me the path of life; you will fill me with joy in your presence, with eternal pleasures at your right hand.” (Psalm 16:11) 

For these barren lands, I am truly thankful. “For I am about to do something new. See, I have already begun! Do you not see it? I will make a pathway through the wilderness. I will create rivers in the dry wasteland.” (Isaiah 43:19)

Honesty is so vital and I pray the honest strings of my heart make a melody to bring the Father praise for His faithfulness amidst these hard times. Because He is ever worthy of praise! He has been beyond GOOD in allowing me to see my brokenness, yet not be overburdened. He has tangibly met me with grace.

It has felt like I have been hard pressed from many angles, but that is all in an effort to help me to better reflect Jesus. God has used what the enemy has intended for evil, for good. He has used the hardships in life, for molding and He has truly allowed me to see how apart from Him, I can do nothing. “7 But we have this precious treasure [the good news about salvation] in [unworthy] earthen vessels [of human frailty], so that the grandeur and surpassing greatness of the power will be [shown to be] from God [His sufficiency] and not from ourselves. 8 We are pressured in every way [hedged in], but not crushed; perplexed [unsure of finding a way out], but not driven to despair; 9 hunted down and persecuted, but not deserted [to stand alone]; struck down, but never destroyed; 10 always carrying around in the body the dying of Jesus, so that the [resurrection] life of Jesus also may be shown in our body.” (2 Corinthians 4:7-10)

For these lessons of fullness I can see how no matter what our barren times may hold, His embrace is stronger and His goodness better than any of the trials. “Your unfailing love, O LORD, is as vast as the heavens; your faithfulness reaches beyond the clouds.” (Psalm 36:5) 

Jesus is worth it. He is THE way. THE truth. THE life. He is growing my heart daily to see Him as the most precious of gifts and its crazy to think that His goodness only grows more!!! Mind-blowing.

Jesus, consume our hearts and help us to see that we are broken people, in need of you. And in that brokenness, help us to remember that we have beauty in knowing we were made for relationship with a Savior who died for us. You Jesus, take us so much deeper and help us to truly live life with a content and thankful heart. We can’t do anything apart from you, and in the times when we try (which is often), remind us of Your truths and whisper to our hearts how Your love craves to hold us and help us in our time of need. Thank you for showing us how You are never barren, and you bring life to all of our barren lands (and that includes the barren places within us).

Much love and whimsy,

Victoria