Fearlessness: (verb) to walk without fear, to let fear have no place in your life. To send anything that causes fear back into the pits of hell where it belongs.
Pretty rad right?!
It is word that Papa has spoken over my life. Paired with victory, He asks me to walk fearlessly with Him as my anchor. A fearless sunflower growing in a field of victory! Yes, I am a bit of a hippie at heart but I love it!
Love casts out fear and His love and greater than anything that could cause me fear. So satan, you can head right on out the door and let it hit you on the way out!
Fear is a waste of time and energy in the kingdom of God and He calls us to take every effort to rid it from our lives.
With Jesus as my rock to fall on, I pray my life is a life of courageous faith and fearless love! I am not perfect but because He is, I never have to fear!
Any fear that is or has been in my life, I want it gone. I want it gone because it drives away trust and I want to trust Jesus every second! I am praying for God to rid my life of fear and to grow within me a stronger force for His love.
This all leads into the next sprinkles of my story. It is honest and I pray you appreciate reading it because it’s my heart exposed for the purpose of His glory!
Here goes…spiritual warfare has been strong the last few days and it’s all been regarding past insecurities.
We went surfing on Friday and the second my feet hit the sand it was like satan was trying to pull me back to my past. I could feel a physical pull! I wasn’t afraid but I could completely see why it was happening.
You see, God has done a 180 with my life this past year and it’s almost like I have stepped outside of myself and into my true self. It’s the only way I can describe it in words. I wake up with new energy, I am free from past sins, and my heart has been awakened to a new melody He sings to me. I feel like a sunflower growing towards the sun and one day, I will meet that sun face to face and be fully grown to the highest of heights. I will meet my Jesus!
With this 180 God took a woman who didn’t know how to fully love herself and allowed her to see herself with His eyes. With this 180 God took fears of never being loved and met them with His love. With this 180 God took my heart and spoke promises about my future and a man who would cherish my heart. With this 180 God took fear and smothered it with love.
Now while I am loving all of this, satan is not. He is hating every second of it. So in a place I adore with all my being (the beautiful ocean), he grabbed me and with as often as I fell off my surfboard, he trampled over me with lies.
Little did he know, that amidst this attack- I felt grounded. Little did he know that amidst this attack, God used the battle to show me how unshakable He has made me through the power of His love. Little did he know, the sharing of this attack would help my teammates and I bond more over this Race.
I am not that insecure girl anymore. I feel my worth, I see my beauty, I know the goodness that awaits my life. I love this journey; the good, the bad and all the moments in between. It’s stretched me. And as a good friend once told me, once something is stretched- it never returns to its past shape. You better believe that I will never be returning to the past. I am molded into something new. I love being molded by His hands into all He sees possible.
So what does 184 stand for you may ask?
This is a piece I debated on sharing but I feel it shows how far He has brought me in victory and this number kicks satan back into the pits of hell!
It’s my current weight believe it or not. And to many it will simply be that but to me it’s a number of victory from a past I never thought I would escape.
As a daughter who for years could not stand the scale and the numbers it mirrored back at me, I can stand today confident and comfortable at 184 pounds. Not afraid of returning to my past and expectant of more victory in my future. Since being on the Race, I have lost over 50 pounds-which was so needed for my health and mental confidence.
Always described as a confident girl, I truly feel that confidence bubbling daily. It’s matched with the love, light and grace that are woven within my heart. It’s the reflection of Jesus! I am a mini Jesus believe it or not- we all are, and we best be walking as He does, without fear!
Now keep in mind, I did not starve myself to get to this healthier weight and I am not sharing this to get compliments, but rather to show you the radical amazingness of Jesus. How he is strictly in the business of transformation. I believe in balanced and healthy methods of living and truly prayed for freedom and boy did it come! This was a goal I set when coming on this journey. I needed to get in better shape (spiritually, emotionally, and mentally) and He had to help me.
I was in such a weary state before this journey in regards to believing in myself that I never thought I would look in the mirror and see beauty looking back. True beauty- inward and outward, resting as a fierce warrior of victory!
For most of my life I had never loved myself; but that is eternally changed because of Jesus grabbing me and pulling me close to His heart!
So I guess you could say that a big piece of my Race was falling into the identity that had always been carved for me and resting in the love He has for me. I always took care of others and I do strongly believe in loving God first and others before yourself, but God wanted to show me His extravagant love this year and it came in the form of freedom from everything that has held me captive for years.
I still have work to do; I always will, I have more goals to achieve! I am not perfect, nor ever want to be but I am ready. Ready for what He has ahead and forever changed! Changed in ways I could never fully explain in words, although I pray you all can get a glimpse of His goodness through the readings of these blog.
I pray you know how limitless of a father we serve and how big His heart is for you! I pray that through learning His heart, we fall more in love with it and want to explore it all the days of our lives! I pray we always want more of Jesus, because by gaining more of Him- our souls learn to truly breathe in the glory of His love!
Cheers to victory and more victory to come! Keep checking in!
Victoria
