We have arrived in Africa and we are already in love with what we have seen. We started the month with debrief in Jinja, Uganda where we rafted the Nile River, which was incredible! Right when I stepped foot into Africa I felt as if I had a completely new perspective. In Malaysia I was sick the entire month with Dengue Fever and then Cambodia and Vietnam were extremely hard for me, which is why you haven’t heard from me in a while. In those two months God brought a lot of my sin to the surface and it was extremely painful. I felt defeated and Satan used this to keep my focus on myself and not ministry or my walk. God still used all this for His glory by bringing me to a place in my walk with Jesus that it hasn’t been in a very long time.
It’s been a theme in my life that I’ve felt as though I couldn’t do anything right. I have felt as if I had to perform in a certain way in many areas of my life and have always fallen short of those performances. This also carried over into my walk with God. For many years now I have felt that I have needed to perform for God to receive His love and with feeling this way it’s left me falling short and feeling defeated. Through these months of defeat God has been teaching me His grace, which has given me such a hunger for more of God. Titus 2:8 says, “For the grace of God has appeared, bringing salvation for all people, training us to renounce ungodliness and worldly passions and to live self controlled, upright, and godly lives in the present age.” God has taught me to live this way through teaching me His grace.
Here is the story of how He spoke to me…..
Toni and I were eating dinner when she got up to get a few condiments. About ten minutes later she was still not back, so I got up to go look for her and found her talking to a couple. However, when I looked all I saw was the guy. I became extremely jealous to the point where I left and found a place to sit where Toni wouldn’t be able to see me. I sat there with deep feelings of jealousy, which didn’t make sense because I’m the one with the ring on my finger… but I did. I truly feel this whole scenario was ordained by God because it was then that God spoke to me. He said, “Jeremy, the way that you are feeling right now is how I feel about you everyday.” He showed me how I can marry myself to the world and leave God to these feelings towards His children. This situation was incredibly powerful and has brought me to a completely different place in my relationship with Him. I am back ready to serve my gracious Father with a passion I haven’t had in a long time. Thank you for being a part of what God is doing in my life and through it.
More to come about Africa!!!!
