I've always found it funny that when we ask God for things and He actually does it, we're surprised. As we get older, that sheer surprise doesn't change, no matter how mature we are spiritually. I remember growing up begging God for certain things, and with a child-like faith believing He would do it. Sometimes He didn't, and for some reason, THAT never surprised me. But when He DID, it stumped me.
It says in Psalm 37:4- "Delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart." That seems simple enough, yes? I guess it's not really as simple as we'd sometimes like. Making the decision to venture out onto The World Race was not an easy one for either of us. It took years of praying, begging, fighting, and heart-changing to come to the point of saying "yes" to something so seemingly insane.
Let me share this story with you:
Jeremy and I met in August 2007 at a tiny little school in Northern Wisconsin. From the get-go I knew that he wanted to one day become a youth pastor and he knew that I one day wanted to pack up all my belongings, move to a foreign country and NEVER
LOOK
BACK, really to share Christ's love with the lost and broken of the world.
Fast forward a year and a half and we're engaged. Jeremy is in the homestretch of his schooling to receive a degree in youth ministry and I'm working at a camp in Wisconsin. Still, the plan was for Jeremy to finish school and start looking for jobs. *as a side note, I find it funny that we so often plan out our lives without REALLY asking God what He wants* So anyway, we get married at the end of summer in '09 and Jeremy is still in school, working his tail off and I'm now working as a nanny. The plan was for him to finish school, find a job, then I'd go back to school. By every account it's a wonderful, logical plan, right? Okay, now here is where it gets tricky. After Jeremy graduates in '11 (finally!) he's busy looking for jobs. I'm still working as a nanny and loving it, yet knowing that he'll probably find a job soon and we'll have to move to somewhere new. But that's exciting because now I can finish my schooling and get a degree in Sign Language Interpretation!
Fast forward a bit more to August '11. It's early evening, Jeremy is in the office getting into the Word and I'm on facebook checking out an orphanage in Haiti I had recently visited (I have a huge heart for Haiti). I see a post from a girl who says that she was just in Haiti on The World Race and she's talking about how blessed she was to be a part of the ministry there. OF COURSE this peaks my interest as my curiosity is struck by all things world-travels related. I google The World Race (gotta love the internet, right?) and the first thing that appears is, naturally, THE World Race. I read and read, and I fall in love. It was almost as if, in that moment, God quietly spoke to my heart and told me that this is what we were going to do next. I'm pretty sure I laughed to myself because Jeremy would NEVER, EVER go for something like this in a million years. However, just for kicks, I went into the office and asked Jeremy what he would say if I told him I felt like we may be called to a one-year missions trip around the world. His first response? "How much does it cost?" I was so furious by his response that I left the room and didn't say a word to him. A few hours later he asks me about it, and excitedly I tell him what I found. But, he brushed it off and told me to forget it because it would never happen. He goes on to explain that he went to college for youth ministry so that's what we're gonna do. I mean, I did know all this before we got married, so I better not be bringing it up now. A few days go by and I poke and prod at him about it and he gets annoyed. Unfortunately, it caused a few unnecessary fights between us (mostly my fault, honestly). I just couldn't understand how this was my deepest desire and it seemed as though what I wanted was being flushed down the toilet. Of course that wasn't what was going on. But c'mon! I'm a girl. I over-analyze EVERYTHING! After about a week of my annoyance, we're about to head to North Carolina to visit my family after a hiatus in my parents' marriage, and I continue to bug Jeremy. Finally he says that he'll pray about it, and he'll sincerely pray about it, not just asking God for a big sign, but for something much deeper. I was relieved, though for some reason scared, too. I remember while in the car on the way there (yes, we always drive all 1,028 grueling miles), me saying something to Jeremy like, "I know this is what God has for us. I'm just waiting for Him to make it clear to you." After that, we didn't speak about to one another for 6 whole days. I wanted to try and give him a sound mind (after all the nagging, it was the least I could do). The entire week, however, I'm praying like crazy for God to make this evident to Jeremy.
On the way home a week later, we're driving through the night–our usual tradition–and I'm sleeping in the back seat while my sweet is driving and listening to Jesus Culture–also usual for us. Something stirred me awake, so I sat up and, while still half asleep, asked Jeremy where we were. I have no idea where it was, but that didn't matter. He tells me that, against all odds, he feels confident that God is calling us to this and that we're going to do it. Since I was basically just talking in my sleep, I didn't comprehend what he was saying. The next morning, however, I realized what he had told me. We were going to apply for The World Race!!! I couldn't believe it! But wait, hadn't God TOLD me we were going to do this? Why was I so surprised? This was my heart's true desire, to travel the world and share God's love with the "ends of the earth", yet when He made it clear to both of us, I was shocked. Really? When I asked Jeremy how he came to that conclusion, his response to me was that he felt like God had been telling him for the majority of the time since I mentioned it to him, but he wanted something more. He asked God for a desire for this, because he had none. He didn't want to do. It's not his passion. It's not his life's dream. It's mine. And once again, I'm surprised when I hear my husband say that God did exactly that. He gave Jeremy a
DESIRE
TO
BE
A
FOREIGN
MISSIONARY.
Are you serious right now? Of course it doesn't make sense. Jeremy's always been one to send the check so that other people, including me, can go do that. He's always been comfortable here, the place he's always known. Home. But honestly, this is completely God ordained because there is NO WAY that he would have agreed to do this were it not for God putting an immense desire in his heart. God did it. He did it all. We would not be where we are right now were it not for Him fulfilling the desires of our hearts. And yes, like I've said, this is my dream: my dream to travel the world and share Jesus' love with every culture to whom I come in contact. My dream to leave America and never look back. My dream to experience life as its never been experienced. My dream to become a foreign missionary. My dream that my husband would have the same desires as me in ministry. And even if it's just for this one year and then we come back here and become youth ministry people, I will know that God has fulfilled my dream because He says that He would. God did what? He fulfilled a dream, and He continues to fulfill dreams
EACH
AND
EVERY
SINGLE
DAY.
