It's 12:15 am and I can't sleep. I find myself wide awake staring at this massive "To Do" list I've created and wonder if I'll actually ever get it all done. It seems that there are more things added than there are crossed off. It's never-ending, or at least it feels that way. I'm sure there's an end in sight…somewhere.
We have less than 6 months until launch. When you really think about it, that's not very long at all. And we have a ton of preparation yet. Most of my "To Do" list consists of things for The World Race. Currently, if I'm being honest, it's a bittersweet feeling to know that we're leaving every comfort we've ever known for an entire year. It's exciting, don't get me wrong. But, hey, I'm American! I live in luxury; too much luxury if you ask me. My mind is racing with dozens of "what if's" lately. I'm sure it's some distasteful tactic the enemy is using to have me second-guess what we're doing. After all, it is a bit crazy. But isn't crazy good? That's what I've always been told, anyway. If we can't be crazy, what's the point? It's an adventure! It's a once-in-a-lifetime adventure! But more than that, it's what we're called to do: go out into all the world and preach the gospel. We're fulfilling the great commission to the fullest extent of the command. In today's society, though, that's about as crazy as one can get, eh? It's not very logical to pack up everything we own, stuff it into a tiny storage unit, stuff a year's worth of clothing into a backpack and head off into the great unknown, all for the sake of sharing Christ. It's not logical to quit our jobs, spend our money, and "forsake all" to share Christ. It's not logical to WANT to do these things, is it? Well, at least that's what they say–those people who don't understand what the Great Commission is all about. But who ever said that living ones life for Christ was logical? Didn't Christ tell the disciples to leave all they knew to follow Him? And in return He made them "fishers of men" (Matthew 4:19). According to the "American Dream", forsaking all isn't exactly the right thing to do, right? But if that's all there is in life, what kind of life is that really? It's no life at all! We were created for so much more. We were created to "forsake our all" in order to pursue Christ to the fullest extent of it's meaning. True, I am spoiled. I am among the 1% of the world that has everything, in retrospect. I enjoy my recliner and a flat screen t.v. that I can watch my movies on. I enjoy a comfortable queen size bed. And I find comfort in knowing that my car probably won't break down on the way to work in the morning. But if it's getting in the way of my life's purpose, wouldn't it be better to have none of it? Wouldn't it be better for me to throw away the "American Dream" if it meant truly living my life for the reason God created it? No, going on The World Race isn't logical. It's expensive. It will be hard. There will be days when we'll want to quit and go home. But Christ never gave up. He KNEW His end result and still He persevered. If I can't do this, what can I do? THIS is my life's purpose, so I'll hold onto the things that aren't logical. I'll give up everything if it means pursuing oneness in Christ. And if I come back and I'm "homeless" and "jobless", well, that's okay. Maybe it'll be good for me. Christ never complained, and He didn't have anything. Besides, this isn't my HOME anyway. This is only a temporary resting place until my Maker decides to call me home.
I'm scared. I'm excited. I'm anxious. I'm eager. I'm jumpy. But I'm called, and that's enough for me.
My new American Dream is this: where ever Christ calls me, whatever He calls me to do, I'll do it. There WILL be bumps along the way. There will be people who will tell me it's not a good idea, or that we won't make it. There will be moments when everything seems to have fallen apart. Finances will almost seem hopeless. And the enemy will try to destroy me. But HE has already won the victory, and with that, I fulfill my purpose in life. CHRIST IS MY NEW AMERICAN DREAM!
