When I signed up for the World Race, I constantly though about and tried to prepare for training camp and the Race. I made plans to quit my job, sell my stuff and release my apartment. I prepared myself to leave my friends and make new ones. I even packed my bag a month in advance.
Somehow, it never occurred to me to consider my return. At month 8 debrief, they spring it on you. They call it re-entry. You get a packet full of exercises and advice from Race alumni. I was convinced I still had forever until I got home but I'm trying to be in the habit of heeding the advice of those who have come before me so I determined to complete this packet.
The day I am writing this is May 15th and my feet will touch American soil in 14 days. I have 6 full days left at my final contact. I am sitting in a house made of cow dung with no electricity and water that must be fetched from the river several times each day. I love my time here and some part of me is still convinced it will never end.
When I think of home and its ever-encroaching arrival, I alternate between 2 very different and very distinct reactions. "Woo-hoo! Home is close. Family! Chick-fil-A sauce." The other sounds more like, "Oh, crap. I'm going home soon. What now? Deep breaths Tia. Just calm down."
This is the reality of it. I have been gone for 11 months doing things that most people only dream of. I've changed so much that often I don't recognize myself. I am filled with excitement and a measure of fear at how my family and friends will respond to who I am become. I have seen and experienced things that I cannot even begin to explain.
When I arrive home, I will have no car, no job, few possessions and absolutely no plan. Many racers return with their next step planned out or a couple of options for their immediate future. I have absolutely no idea and I'm trying to be patient with myself while I wait for God to make a direction.
Another consideration is that I have literally not been alone for the last 11 months. We are not allowed to be. Taking it further, I have lived with the same 5 people for the last 5 months. We do everything together. Everything. We eat, sleep, do ministry, worship, watch movies, and everything together. I will be without them and physically alone for the first time in a long time.
However true my concerns may be, I know I have a higher truth. I know that this season of my life is over but it has served to change me and prepare me for the next season. While I do not have a plan for my life, God's plan is infinitely good and wonderful. He has prepared the way for me.
I know that my family and friends love and support me even when they do not understand me.
I do not know how I will react during my first few days in America but I do know that I have 50 squad mates who understand.
I have a God who loves me and provides for me and loves when I cast all my cares upon him. And with that in mind, I welcome America with all of its challenges and adventures. See you soon!
