After 4 weeks of ministry it was so nice to come home to place of solitude in the apartment. Where I can sit in my hammock and reflect on all that I have been learning and going through these last few weeks. This week was definitely the rougher of the four, but over all India is amazing.
I wanted to share all that I have learned this month, not just get an update about what I am doing, but to help me overall process everything.
India is one of the most spiritual warfare places I have ever experienced so far on the race.
But the cool thing this is still just the beginning. During this time here the Lord has taught me to speak boldly, go past the awkward, to trust Him with my everything, that my faith is not determined by if I see healing or not, and to have Grace not just for the people around me, but also myself.
For such a long time, I have looked at my words and knew I could carry out a conversation, and all that jazz. But sharing the gospel and sharing testimonies that was for people gifted in that area.
NOT ME! But I still remember the first village with the man who looked us all in the faces and saying,
“Don’t be shy or nervous, you all have a story, and these people need to hear what Jesus has done in your life.”
The Lord has use that so much for me this month. Even when I am afraid or nervous about what I might say, He is still God over all things, and the words I use He will use for His glory.
Now going past the awkward… now here is the fun part. For those who don’t know me I have no idea how to work with 5-8 year olds. In my mind I am like give me the teens or college students. But it has been awesome to work with all these kids here, even during the hard week in them starring at me and me just starring at them.
We would do eye brow raises, looking weird and smiling at one another. And hugs, I love hugs and it has been so funny because India is not a big physical touch…okay scratch that they are physical touch within genders, but man I can not to begin to count all the awkward hugs. Which the ones with the Ama’s(mothers) are probably my favorite.
To trust with all things, I can not begin to express how the Lord is changing my heart in that area. Of so many nights praying and asking the Lord to teach me to trust Him with my finances and my future, and it was all right in front of me.
HIS WORD and BELIEVING His Word and all that He says He is.
Trust me I know it is hard, especially future racers I know this is one of the hardest, but He is so good and so faithful to His promises.
With this whole thing about growing in faith and truth. Reading a lot in John and Acts you see His disciples doing miracles because even Jesus said
” Greater things you will do because the same Spirit that is in Him is also in YOU.”
So when I prayed, I believe and trust that He would heal these people, but no healings were happening. Did I not have enough faith?
I was so thankful for a conversation with my team mates who brought it back in the light for me, that the miracles means nothing if the person’s heart is not ready for Jesus. The healing when the Lord allows is all for His glory. So praying upon praying, we have loved to pray blessing and favor for these people as they continue their journey with the Lord, or if their journey just began with the Lord.
Then grace not just for the people around me, but for myself as well. In my mind I always love a challenge and growing in that challenge, and Christ calls us to walk in His promises and I want to radiate Christ.
Even when I don’t feel like it, I want to be like Him.
But I’m human….I will miss the mark… there will be things I should have said.
Or things that I should have done, but the Lord brought me back that no matter the case I am still His daughter, and He loves me so much.
He loves me when I speak His truth, even at times I have no idea what I will say or how I will say it…
He loves me even when it is awkward to show love, and I have no idea what I am doing.
He loves me even though so days I am afraid of the future or how money comes in…
And He love even when I do not deserve it because I am His daughter, and He loves me
*thank you all for your prayer and support. Please keep my team and I in your prayers as we leave for Nepal on Tuesday 🙂
