Do you ever wake up in the morning with this feeling of guilt or dread? I know I have and it was for me this one morning. As if I wake up and something is holding down my chest suffocating me. The fear keeps encompassing me as if I am getting hit wave after wave. Wondering where is this peace that the Lord has spoke so highly about?
These fear usually kick in the most for me when I stress about the future and try to plan everything to a perfect “T” and it makes me feel safe and secure. The plan goes when I go through all the scenarios and plan what is the best and efficient route to get all the things I need to get done? Problem is these plan are my own way to make sure I am safe nd secure….security is a very good feeling to have…
But going back to this one day, I told myself I am here on a mission, I can not stress about the future! So I was reading a book called “Idols of the Heart,” by Elyse Fitzpatrick…. and one of the chapters said ” He is not just a God or the only God, He is our God and He is with you.”
I paused for a moment… He is with me. Security ran through me for a second, until I had to go to work with some of the girls. Today’s job was digging up the dirt and moving it to a pile so they can use it later to fill in areas that need filling. While we were working, Danielle and I had this crappy wheel barrow, and we would fill it up and try to move it, but it would not budge. So you begin to go through all these ideas of how we can move the wheel barrow until Danielle comes with the idea of moving it backwards….
So we lift it backwards and it moves easier, but when walking forward and the wheel barrow behind us, it is a hard feeling because I can not see where the wheel barrow is. All I know is that i am walking with behind me, and it can feel very unsteady and shakes like crazy. But when the wheel barrow is in front of me, I felt I had control of where it moved, but when it was forward it did not budge…
When I was moving forward with the wheel barrow behind me, I felt unsure wobbly, until everything felt steady and I was walking straight… I wondered what was going on until I saw Danielle behind me, guiding me. Though I could not see what was in front of the wheel barrow, she moved and guide it so I could get to where I needed to go.
That is when the words, “I am with you,” came rushing in my mind. When I am walking this event called life, He is there guiding me. Though I do not see Him and I think I am doing this all on my own, He is behind me watching my step and taking this yoke helping me move forward one step at a time…
I smiled the rest of the time as Danielle and I worked well as a team, and feeling blessed that Papa blessed me with a gold nugget as a reminder that He is with me 🙂
